A Single Girl in a Couples World-Life As I Know It

Engagement? What Engagement?

2007-01-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Our little Poof and her hunk of a man, Babe decided that it was time to get engaged! I can't even wait for the wedding Poodles! Congrats!

Here's the ring (on my finger):

And here's the HOT couple:

I'd like to annouce the birth of Lil Mouse aka Baby Beva!

2007-01-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Mouse brought a lil baby Mouse into the world today! Happy Birthday Lil Mouse! You are so beautiful and I love you soooo much. You've got lots of Aunts and some that you didn't even ask for! We've been waiting for you for so long. You came into the world just a lil mouse, but soon you will grow and I can't wait to watch!

I love you little girl! Welcome to the H-Train!

Love, Auntie Erin

On the count of 3, everyone say Jenny's pregnant!

2006-12-21T18:05:00.000-07:00

Priceless, the look on Mary's face!

A sign I've let someone in...

2006-12-21T18:03:00.001-07:00

Mouse and her babes and the BLIZZARD of 2006!!

2006-12-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

Gobble Gobble

2006-11-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost Turkey Day. This holiday has snuck up on me. I mean, I just got back from my birthday trip to Vegas! HOLY CRAP!

My Thanksgiving consists of heading up to the mountains to spend it with my Uncle, his fiance and her girls and of course mom and Don. This should be fun. I'd honestly like to just stay home, watch Grey's Anatomy and the Broncos game.

I haven't written here much since before I left for Philly. Part of me has needed a break and part of me has been too busy to even put the time or effort into doing this. I'll never stop writing because I love doing it, but from time to time, I'll take a break.

So, I guess another reason why I've been so distant is because I've made a decision to begin seeing someone from my past. I'll refer to him as Asshat, well, because that's what I've always called him. I've let him back into my life and I've not told very many people about that decision. I know that I will get looks, people will ignore me when his name is brought up. I understand that. I would do the same if I were my friend. I've made things very clear to him that "this thing" we've started will go slow, will be under my terms and will end if ANY BS goes down. So, I've let him try to win me over. I've let him take me to NICE resturants. I even let him in, but only a little bit. He's trying really hard. But, more than anything, he's got to win over my friends and family. As for right now, I'm happy. I'm cautious, but happy.

This morning I walked into my office and saw these beautiful flowers on my desk. So purty! They were from him. When I came back from a meeting, ANOTHER boquet of flowers had been sent to me! HOLY SHIT! When I came back from lunch, a little blue box sat on my desk. How did he know. That little blue box made my heart stop. I couldn't even believe it! He had bought me a Tiffany's bracelet. It's georgous. He's trying. And I know the material things aren't the way to make someone forgive, but damn, my little heart forgot for one moment those old memories. He's trying. And I'm going to let him. I haven't cloesed the door on other "things" that might come along, OH AND THERE ARE SOME "THINGS" THAT MIGHT BE COMING. So know that I am being cautious. But, I'm enjoying this time right now. I really am.

My New Toy

2006-11-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

Congrats are in order... and I'm behind!

2006-10-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

So the biggest news, of course, is that Mouse and the Doctor are expecting a little one! And I'm convinced that the baby will be born on my birthday. :-) Oh yah and they have moved back to Denver. So, my little plan is working! First Sniff now Mouse. I'm totally overjoyed and can't wait to meet Baby Beva Brown. So damn cute!!!

Also, DZ sister and friend Shandigity and Bill have announced that they are expecting their first little one. Congrats to the both of you! The baby will no doubt be as cute as the both of you!

DZ sister Banana and her family (Trevor and Reagan) have announced that they are on baby number 2! Congrats to you! Maybe a little boy will be in your future.

And a huge congrats are in order for my dear friend and sister Sunshine. She just completed her radiation treatment! Nothing can stop her and I know that she can't wait to get back to her little girl and hubby. I love you Sunshine! Congrats to you and seriously, Maddie Grace is adorable!

I'm back

2006-10-30T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm not, however, better than ever. I'm exhausted. But, I'm refreshed.

Recap: Philly: Fucking fantastic. Loved it!
NYC: It was what I thought it would be. Crazy cool.

Feet: Sore, I walked up to 12 miles each day.
My shifts: 5:45 a.m. - 10 p.m. every day. I'm tired!

Flirted with: approximately 4 guys: Aaron, we're in love and I'm pretty sure it's a perfect match. Roy, the sexy southern who had the most amazing crooked smile. Eric Erie, seriously could you even imagine my last name being Erin Erie, from Erie. Loved him. Oh yah and Guido in Brooklyn. What a perfect Brooklyn boy story. "Yous two are beeYOUteeful. Loved it.

Best Moment: Flyers hockey game: hands down. 9th row, Peter Forsberg, tied the game, won the game and was the star of the game. It couldn't have been any better.

Worst moment: Being the only white people coming off the Utica subway exit in the middle of the ghetto. SCARY!!!

Sure glad to be home. Now, it's time to get better. I need a real life!

E

so... I've scared a few people

2006-10-16T23:07:00.000-06:00

I don't have a lot of time for a long post... so I'll keep this short.

I'm fine, please don't worry. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm too chicken to do it and plus, how much fun would it be for me not to live my life vicariously though other people. Not very much fun now would it?!

I figured something was up when I received 4 emails from my 2 best friends. I didn't think they even read this thing anymore.

I'm over myself. So, please let me just be that.

I'm lonely. The end. That's it. And it's partially my fault for moving way the fuck up to Erie. I knew that it would be hard for people to visit me there.

I don't expect you to understand that how lonely this feels. I don't expect anyone I know to understand that.

For now, I'll be excited about the "other" things. You two moving back up here and Baby Beva on the way. I can hardly contain myself over that baby. I can't wait to meet her and be her Auntie E.

I'll go on this trip to Philly and hope that it revitalizes me. Brings me back to what everyone thinks I am... happy.

I'm sorry to make you feel concerned. I'll get thru this crap. I just need some attention... I think that's really what it is. It seems as with all the weddings and showers, the single girl gets left in the dust. There was a Sex in the City episode about that ya know!?!! :-) There's nothing great about being single, girls. Nothing. They just call it "independence" to take the gloom away. I've been independent all my life. I'm over that. I'd really like to depend on someone other than myself.

I'd rather die than be this lonely. I really would. So, that's why I have friends. And friends that have babies. Cause there is nothing better than a baby. I just feel left out. There's no celebrations for single people. I mean, I'm in the business of celebrations. And we don't celebrate a single girl, just getting by. That just doesn't happen.

I'll not likely keep up with the Jones'. I'll be behind for the rest of my life. I've just got to get to the place that I can accept that.

Enjoy the two weeks I'm gone. The drama will have left the building. I'll put on my customer service face and show my best. I'll come home and crash and hopefully want to re-enter the world with a smile, hopefully a joke and much less drama.

Please don't worry about me, cause everything is always fine. I'm fine.

Love,

E

Me=Bitch

2006-10-14T23:53:00.000-06:00

it's been a while... and there is a great reason for that. I'm in a horrible, terrible mood, and I've been busy. Not good busy, but work busy.

Looking forward to October 26.

I need a break, a raise and a boyfriend. And I don't mean some dumb guy who calls and wants to "hang out". I want an actual boyfriend who actually cares. Everywhere I look, all I see are engagements, marriages and then more engagements and marriages. Even my uncle is engaged. Barf.

See, there is the reason I should have stayed home tonight. I'm a complete and total bitch.

I've never in my life considered suicide. But, as much as this Suzy Fucking Sunshine hates to admit it, I've thought about it more and more in the past 3 months, than I have ever in my entire life. I don't want my life to be about getting ahead at work. I'd really like it to be about family. But since my family is small and now have other families, I'm kind of left here by myself. And seriously, I'm by myself. I am. And that dumb fucking movie my mom thinks is about me (under the tuscan sun) totally sucks. It's a great movie in all, but seriously, I don't think I was put on this earth to help my lesbian best friend raise her baby. I don't think I was put on this plant to NOT have my own relationship. To not have my own child. Or to even think that my house is like a child in which I need to nurture and raise. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Fuck off.

I'm sick of living my life vicariously through others. I'm sick of hearing, "it will happen to you, just be patient". Well, it's been over 3 years and I've been about as patient as they come. I'm over being the only one NOT getting married, engaged, blah blah blah. I'm not even close to that. I'm not even close to knowing someone I'd even consider marrying. Yikes. That's just scary. I'm just so cynical. And now, I'm even telling people, I'm okay with not dating. That's just a lie. I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay with being alone. I never will be. And I hate that others feel sorry for me. I can tell they feel sorry for me. I just want to be one of them. Fit in with the crowd.

So for now, as my depression goes up and down, I will retreat and not come out for a few months. I'll be a horrible friend or pretend to be a good one. I'll fake my way thru life as best as I know how. I'll put on a brave face and smile so that others don't feel uncomfortable around me. Cause that's what I do. And that's probably what, in the end, is the sole reason why I am alone.

I'm stuck, forgive me.

e

I'll be gone for 2 weeks. I won't write, cause I will be busy. So busy, in fact, that I'll forget, for at least 2 weeks, that I'm a complete bitch. So enjoy me being gone cause when I get back. I'll be bitching again... After all, this is the bitch factory.

My Favorite Nsync and VMA moment!!!

2006-09-21T23:33:00.000-06:00

A while has come and gone...

2006-09-20T22:43:00.000-06:00

Hello Bayyyyyyba!

It's been a long while. And I'm sorry to my dear readers that I've been away for so long. I've been a busy, busy little bee lately.

Jenny and Erik are married! So ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!! The weddingpalooza has come and gone. It was a little T & G there for a few, but we made it thru and I've never seen Jenny so happy. Erik cried and then that made me cry. I was hoping that he would, even though he said he wouldn't. I danced like I promised, my toast wasn't horrible and my non-existent date to the wedding was just that, non-existent. It was best that way. I was WAY too busy, running here and there, being a best friend and drying tears. It was what I thought the week would be like, but much better. We didn't know if Socks would pull through, after the Wednesday night of MAJOR celebrating. I've never heard barfing like that in my entire life. The rehearsal pics are AWESOME. He looks like the color of shirt he wore: GREEN! But, my little Socks-y made it though. Next step: Sniff, Socks and the pups are moving to Colorado! Woohoo! Can't wait for that next week!!!

During all of the PALOOZA stuff, I managed to sneak in a quasi date. A random phone call on Wednesday morning would change my bitter dating life. Hot, sweet guy Chris from this year's Country Jam called me. You see, we met back in June down in Grand Junction at Country Jam. My girlfriends and I were at a side stage listening to some disco band play that funky music. He happened to be there, dancing... a bit to close for my comfort. But, by the end of the night, he eased into our dance circle. I didn't really know what he looked like cause, well, I was dancing with my girlfriends. I wasn't paying attention to him. But, when the lights came on, I saw a dream boat. Dark hair, blue eyes and tall. He was sooo cute! We walked back to camp together and talked until late! We decided to hang out the next day together. We hung out in our pool and drank til our little hearts were content! He lives in Avon and works in the hospitality industry. Um, hello, how cool is that? His mom lives in HR, um, so does mine, and we know someone in common! OH yah, and his dad died recently and he has ALWAYS had shelties. Um, yah, perfect. This is sure to fail! Well, it did. We had 2 amazing nights together and then Country Jam was over.

I thought that I'd never hear from him again... and honestly, I never did, until he called Wednesday morning to say he'd be in town and that he'd love to take me out for drinks. PERFECT timing! I was going out for drinks with the Bridal Party. Might as well invite the dude. He showed and he was every bit of HOT as I remembered he was. He was kind, and funny and even dealt well when Mouse's husband did a mini grill q and a on him. We departed hoping to see each other the next day, but I was too busy to break free. He kisses like a dream and holy crap, he's so .... awe!!!!

He'll be down (hopefully) on Friday and Saturday. I'd totally see him again. :-)

The Reason Why You Should Have Pre-marital Sex:

2006-09-15T09:32:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite blogs I read on a daily basis is Dooce.com. This ex-morman, mommy-sasstris and cute as a bug gal ALWAYS gets it right. She says what I think and actually, she got fired for doing so. So, Heather, I live vicariously through you. Check out her site. Her daughter, Leta is equally as sassy and so damn cute, I would love to zerbert her! Her hubby, Jon is a hunk of man geek meat. Check him out too at Blurbomat.com.

I remember trying to tell my 2 virginal roommates the reasons I have had pre-marital sex. Of course they thought I was insane. But, Heather states it best:

There was the guy who was perfect in many ways, loved the right music, voted for the right person, said the most wonderful things when I most needed to hear them, and (and!) he was an amazing kisser. It was just all the stuff that happened after the kissing that made the relationship more and more difficult to rationalize, and here is where I experience a lot of hand-wringing for all my Mormon girlfriends who got married without ever having slept with their men. It’s admirable, very admirable to enter into the covenant of marriage as a virgin, but what if smack dab in the middle of that first-night passion he starts quoting Al Pacino in Scarface? Or starts yodeling? Or says, “Do you mind if I turn on some Yanni?” IT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN. This is indispensable research you have to conduct, or else you’re going to spend the rest of your life faking headaches.

Just a few wedding pictures

2006-09-10T22:37:00.000-06:00

Blogged with Flock

What happened... and What's to happen...

2006-08-28T22:38:00.000-06:00

So I'm tired. My weekend was full of fun stuff, crazy stuff and crap! Here's the reCRAP. LOL... I'm punchy, sue me...

Friday: Drove to Target to pick up 8 bagillion pictures I printed. Found out that I am officially broke. I am. The money has run out. Sulked and drove down to mom's house where we waited to hear from Uncle G. He called and we met (along with the new fam), for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. J called and asked me to come downtown. I wasn't able to due to the whole family thing, but I was pretty excited that he even asked me to come down. Hmmm.... Dinner went well with Uncle G. The new fam was very cool, actually. The fiancee wasn't very inquisitive, but I kind of figured she wouldn't be. Her daughters were very cool. Mom and I drove separately and called each other on the way home from dinner to gossip about the evening. I love doing that kind of stuff with my mom. We agreed it went well. Mom and I slumber partied it in her sleep number bed. We chit chatted like school girls until 1:30 a.m. She's the best, really.

Saturday: Got up to be fed DEEEEEEEEE-licous Yukon, Oklahoma pancakes. Yum! Ran off to get my hair cut and colored. OOOOO it's purty too! Then met the fam at the mall where we shopped ALL DAY! I didn't purchase ONE THING! Remember, I'm broke! Went home to shower up and get ready for the Rockies game with Nicki, Michelle and Andrew. Picked up Nick and Drew and met Michelle downtown. Had a great time at the game! Will post pics soon. Went to Swankys and then got left behind with Andrew because the girls met some funnnnnn new kids! I was alright being left with Andrew, he's a hottie and we've been pals forever. So, we hung and then decided to head on back home. I hung out at his place for a few hours while I waited to hear if Nick needed me to come pick her up. I ended up falling asleep there. Again, okay with that cause Drew is a hottie. Not much happened and even if it did, I wouldn't discuss it here. :-) It ended up being a late night cause I accidentally stayed at Drew's until 6 a.m. Oopps!

Sunday: I came home and slept until 11:30, got up and got ready for the NFL Draft. I joined a fantasy football league. All girls and it's been fun so far! I got 4th pick which is awesome and picked Peyton Manning for my first pick! HELL YAH! So, that lasted a couple of hours and then I ended up heading back to mom's where we vegged on the couch and watched the Emmy's and the Broncos game. It was loverly!

What's to happen this week? A LOT!
Monday-work and attempt to find bucket/basket for Emergency Wedding Day Pack. No such luck!

Tuesday- Dinner party at Michelle's. Bring wine!

Wednesday- Happy Hour with J. So Excited!

Thursday-I agreed to go out with Neighbor Andy for Happy Hour drinks.

Friday- Date with Lance-a Yukon Boy. We went out last summer and I had to break it off cause I was seeing/in love with EJB. Ick!

Saturday-afternoon date with new guy MJB not to be confused with EJB. We had our first date last Tuesday and it went swimmingly. I said I'd go out with him again. SHIT! I just double booked! I have Carolyn's shower that afternoon. I will have to reschedule with MJB. Will figure something out.

Saturday night. Mouse is coming to TOWN! Yippee! Can't wait to hang with her!

Sunday: Sniff and Socks arrive and the craziness begins!

Monday: Taste of Colorado to see Little Big Town in concert...FREE!

Tuesday: Wedding stuff

Wednesday: Dinner with Sniff's G-rents.

Thursday: Rehearsal Dinner and party

Friday: THE BIG DAY FOR SNIFF AND SOCKS!

Saturday: Poodles is throwing a party! GO RAMS!

Sunday: DETOX

OH YAH, and I will be working all this week. I'm a busy cat. I'm tired and need to head on to bed.

Call me!

Love ya,

E

OH SHIT, I NEED TO WRITE A SPEECH FOR THE WEDDING!

CRAP!

Dear Uncle G,

2006-08-24T22:07:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow you fly back into town with your fiancee and her two teenaged girls. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to this visit. I've seen you twice in 8 months and have talked to you on the phone only a hand full of times since you got engaged.

Here's what I know about the Brooks clan. We are people who care, who get through the though times together, celebrate together, help each other, are happy for each other and love each other like it's our jobs. Me and you have been BEST friends since I was born. You've meant more to me than ANY other man has in my life. You took over as my father figure when my dad died. You were my idol and nothing you did was wrong. You loved and took care of your sister and held her hand when she needed it. We bonded over our love of hockey and more than anything else in this world, when we go to games, I am the happiest. You understood my very girlie nature and embraced my creative side. When I went through heartbreak in 2003, you picked me up and encouraged me to hold my head up high and keep forging forward. When you went through heartache in 2004, we cried and held each other up. We spent more time together, laughed more and became closer. We did what we had to do to move forward. I was so thankful for those times. I was so excited to be throwing you a 50th birthday party last year. Months and months of planning were worth the look on your face. But when you pulled me aside the night of your party and told me that you were back with the heartbreaker, I died a little inside. She was the reason we were so close. It was because of her dumping you that we built this fantastic family bond. And now, she's back and you've dropped the bomb on me that you are back with her. I was speechless and somewhat pissed. This is the woman I grew to hate because she broke your heart. And when she broke your heart, it broke mine. I know I was stand offish that night. I didn't want to even look her in the eye. And honestly, she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I remember the first time we met her. We invited her to our Thanksgiving dinner. She wanted nothing to do with it. And when you begged her to come, she obliged, sort of. She "dropped by" barely coming in side the house. She was shy and could not look me in the eye. I had a bad feeling about her. Why wouldn't she want to meet us? We love G, why in the hell wouldn't she want to meet his family?

After you got back together, we invited her to Thanksgiving dinner this last year. I'd ask her an open ended questions and she'd answer with a one word answer. Are you scared of me? I want to get to know you. I want to know why my uncle loves you. Not once did she ask me a question. Not once did she make an effort. Why not? Same with my Mom. She never asked her questions. WTF is that about?

You know, at your 50th birthday party, a lot of your friends came up to me and said, "I didn't know she was going to be here? Yah, we aren't too fond of her." Seriously!

There is no doubt in my mind that I have abandonment issues. I've never had a secure father figure and when you took on that role, I felt a bit more secure. I might be 26, but I crave the love of a man, whether that be from family or a boyfriend. And when my father figure started slipping away, I got upset.

I know I've been your only niece and you've been my only uncle. So, I am used to having you to myself. I'm used to you putting us first. I understand that with love, there is change. Things change when you marry a woman with 2 children. I know this. I know I will have to share you. I understand that. It will be an adjustment and I'm willing to give it a try. But, don't leave me out and don't fake how you feel. Don't call me up because you feel like you have to. Do it because you want to. I know you are busy now with this new life. But, just make a little time for me and your sister. We care for you and miss you.

All of my father figures have died. It wasn't a choice that they left. With you, there is a choice. And you've left me. And that pisses me off. I can forgive my real father for being an ass and not ever being there, he's gone, and that's what I have to do to move forward, but YOU have the choice in this. You can choose to be a part of this family. It seems like you've chosen. And we aren't really a part of your plans. And that's why I'm pissed. I've ALWAYS chosen you and this family. Cause, that's the right thing to do. That's all I've got. You're all I've got.

So, congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Hopefully, your new family will bring you all the joy you seem to be missing from ours.

I don't want to be the polite, kind niece to your bride-to-be. But, I will be the polite, kind niece because I want to make you happy. And honestly, my kindness kills and I refuse to be the put off, snotty bitch that your bride-to-be seems to be.

This is either the start of a new family or the end of another. And if that's the case, my heart has broken. I don't do things half-assed. Don't ask me to. I won't do it for you. You either love me all the way or don't love me at all. Black or white. There is no gray area with family. Sorry.

So for now, I'm not looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. My heart is broken and I'm trying to mend it. I'll move on. And you can continue to love someone who doesn't know your family, someone who doesn't even want to get to know your family. And that makes me sad for you. I wonder what Grandma would say?

Love,

Your Niece, your family,

E

Contentment

2006-08-24T09:09:00.000-06:00

This is from a blog I frequent daily. Stephanie Klein says it best. And honestly, I've wanted to say this a few times to a few different people, but I haven't.

I know striving to be better is important, but I think being content is a wonderful thing.

anywhere but here
I nearly just posted a letter to a friend, one of those, "I'd never send this" letters where I tell her exactly what I think. Then I erased it because it's inappropriate to post, but even more, I realized, why can't I say these things to her? I suppose sometimes a friend needs to ask our opinion before we give it. I want to tell her that I think she's running from her life, filling her time with busy work and plans, instead of creating a rich life for herself here. I want to encourage her to go for more walks, to invest in herself not through dating, but in signing up for classes in things about which she's always been secretly interested. Not some one off class either. She needs routine and should stick with it. Scour the pages of Time Out or some other About Town section, then go to a museum or play or book reading. She spends so much of her time planning her future in trips, thinking it will be better anywhere but here. And it never is. It's a case of Dorothy. I wish she'd slow down, sit with her silence, and realize no matter where she tries to go, that silence will still be there. And it's not about transforming emptiness into a quiet peace either. It's about sitting still and saying, this is actually how it should be. Let me make the most of this.

I just lost a very cool post

2006-08-17T22:21:00.000-06:00

FUCK
I hate when that shit goes down.

And now I'm to tired to type. Maybe tomorrow.

Blogger=Asshat

2006-08-12T20:50:00.000-06:00

Friends: The Monica and Ross-Dance

I bet Nicki and Clay look like this... :-)

New Music Video From David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff - "Jump In My Car"

2006-08-11T10:02:00.000-06:00

That's right, it's Hofficial... your favourite cult icon wants to take you home! The one and only David Hasselhoff of "Bay Watch" and "Knight Rider" fame returns with a cover of the
1975 classic 'Jump In My Car' and its a doozy. Recorded in Sydney last year with the legendary Harry Vanda (AC/DC, The Angels), the Ted Mulry Gang tune has been re-vamped with full Hoff gusto and this music video promises to rock the socks off all his Hofficial fans. Watch it, enjoy it, share it on Google Video, courtesy of Sony BMG Australia.

Want more? Buy the buy the track on iTunes Australia by clicking here:

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=155871591&s=143460

2006-08-10T10:00:00.000-06:00

Now THIS is awesome... enjoy!

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Cute... there is no other explanation...

2006-08-06T14:14:00.000-06:00

Saturday Evening at the Game... a Perfect Summer Night in Colorado

2006-08-01T00:14:00.000-06:00

Saturday: The girls and I hooked up with my hot friend Andrew. He suggested the Rockies game and all we had to do is show up. And that's what we did. (Too bad I don't have any pictures of Hot Friend Andrew.)

Mental note: Don't share drinks with friends... Michelle and I are both sick. Cough Cough, Sniff Sniff. ICK!

That John Denver's Full of Shit...

2006-07-29T12:19:00.000-06:00

Again?!? Really?!? Maybe I need some kind of coach!?

Back

2006-07-23T23:26:00.000-06:00

I'm back from MT where I spent a few days with Sniff, Socks and the pups. Had a great time. Glad to be home.

A rundown:

Thursday: Get in, go get bridesmaid dress tailored, went to Sniff's office where I did work and was paid in coffee and cookies (fine by me), went home, met the new pup, , got ready for concert, went to dinner, went to concert, cried several times at show, had a blast, came home, went to sleep.

Friday: Slept in (yes!), hung out on the couch with pups and Sniff, watched TV until 1, got ready, went shopppppppping, met T-rex and Socks for dinner, decided to go to an indoor football game (fun!) was silly, came home, went to bed.

Saturday: Slept in (again), went to have breakfast, dropped pups off to get groomed, went to Target (duh), hung out at the house, picked up tailored BM dress, went to dinner, watched some tube, went to bed.

Sunday: Slept in (again), got up, had leftover breakfast, watched some tube while Sniff got a massage, my turn, packed bag, Subway, airport, flight home, check for mice (none to report of), check weird black spot on wall (still there but, hasn[t changed size (good news)), unpacked, made steamed veggies for dinner, watched the tube, un-subscribed from ALL internet dating sites (ick), writing this post, hitting the hay.

Overall, a good weekend. I'm tired, looking forward to Tuesday as the Rascals, The Wreckers, and Gary Alan will be in town. Woot Woot!

PS... still pretty official, STILL not dating, still SO over the Denver dating scene. And it seems that it's come down to friends dating others sloppy seconds. Wow, it's time to either go gay or move away. This town stinks for love. Seems as if everyone is either already in love, or bitter. Obvs, I'm the bitter one. Oh and, it's still pretty official that I'm drying up. I don't even think those parts still work. *sigh*

12 years and 3 years

2006-07-19T23:00:00.000-06:00

It's been 12 years... today... And well, it hurts less and less as time goes by. And that makes me a bit sad. I don't want to forget him. But, as the years pass, I have slowly forgotten his voice, his smell, his quirks. And that is what makes me sad.

I'm slowly forgetting my father.

And tomorrow is 12 years to the day. The offical worst day of my life. And that day, I will NEVER forget. I remember my exact conversations, the 911 phone call, the police, the way the sky looked that day, the words that came out of Cliff's mouth and the realization that he was gone.

It wasn't until just a few years ago that I learned that what I suspected (suicide), was true. Although he didn't use a gun to kill himself, I think he would have, if he didn't die. He stopped taking his diabetes meds. His heart failed and luckily he died in his sleep. I'm glad that's how he left this earth. I don't think I could have dealt with the aftermath of a gunshot, since I was the one who found him.

And 3 years ago today, I broke up with the love of my life. I didn't leave the house for 6 months after I broke up with him. I was devistated. I bought the Felicity DVD's and watched them every night. I can honestly say I haven't watched Felicity since those first 6 months. Too many memories.

Do you ever really get over your first love? Does your heart ever fully mend? Do you ever move on? I've heard you do, but I never thought it would take this long.

I'm exhausted. I haven't slept in a couple of days. I'm headed to MT to see Sniff, Socks and the pups. I'm looking forward to a few days off.

I smell T R O U B L E

2006-07-17T23:32:00.000-06:00

E, Sniff, Rex

Down in Mississippi and Up to No Good

2006-07-17T23:29:00.000-06:00

Last weekend

2006-07-17T22:54:00.000-06:00

Last weekend was a trip! I stayed down at my mom's house to hang with my cute pup so he would feel loved since mom abandoned him for 10 days. The gurls (N and M) and I met up. We were invited to a house party with some of our new country jam friends (hmmmm yummy). We ended up in Parker or Aurora or some place like that. We showed up with meatballs (provided by M), Red Bull (provided by N) and cookies (provided by moi). We were dressed like the hotties we are and we showed up not sure what to expect. Well, we weren't the only girls there. In fact, we were wearing more clothes than any other girls there. However, I think our cute outfits made the much classier group. We eased our way in and hugged our Country Jam friends. JJ, Hot Bobby, Crazy Chris and his sassy GF Lori were the one's I remember right off the bat. This house party wasn't thrown for us, but rather the ultimate fighting championship. Which, by the way, is horribly violent. I was horrified by all the blood. Yick.

There were bunches, ooooodles of guys there for us to feast our eyes on. Hot Bobby was nice to look at, that was until he got loaded. One such cutie named Andy and I hit it off. He ate off of my plate, I drank from his glass, we giggled, and smiled and by the end of the night I was sure I was going to be giving out my phone number...UNTIL I heard a small voice (JJ) say, "I heard that Andy guy is married". At this point Andy was outside. I got up off my chair and took my sassy ass outside to meet and greet Andy. I went over to him, got so close to him that I knew he would like it. I ran my hand up his chest and whispered, "Andy, I'd like to get to know you better, can I ask you some questions?" He couldn't speak because my boobs were most likely causing him to feel claustrophobic. Now, I must mention, Andy was very, very drunk at this point. So, me leaning all over him was, I'm sure, funny to watch as a spectator. "Andy, you're so strong. I have one question for you though...if you are so strong, why are you being so weak by NOT WEARING YOUR WEDDING BAND and hitting on my sassy ass?!?!" He was stunned. All he could do is tell the truth. I kept asking all the questions. And he kept the answers coming. He has 3 kids and a lovely wife. And then he proceeded to ask me to play out a date scenario. "How about I ask you out, EMPY? How about we kiss EMPY? How about blah blah blah." I laughed him off and pushed him in the DD car. Lovely, just lovely.

That night was insane. M, N and I all agree we were NOT like ourselves at all. N was sober, M was adventurous, and I was the drunk, crazy one. I took shots of Jaeger (ick) and drank several Vodka Redbulls. I got friendly with a cute boy named Josh (duh) and he pushed me up against a car and I of course found that sexy and had to reward him with a kiss. There was, at one point, a body shot contest and M and I decided to get involved. Nothing like being the classiest gals in the joint and then suddenly becoming the sleasiest girls in a matter of 2 drinks. Yikes. Fact was, Josh was shooting WATER off our our boobs. And well, all I have to say is that I was reminded of what I had let Josh do to me for about 6 days. Turtlenecks up to there, I tell you!

Best part: We left the party around 12:30. I got home around 1:15ish and got in bed. I couldn't fall asleep because of those damn Red Bull Vodkas. My heart was racing. I wasn't totally smashed, but I was feelin it. I couldn't stop my mind from racing. It hit 3:30 and I had to go. I was so damn sick. I thought that it would never end. Why was I so sick. All I had was 4 drinks and 2 shots. That's not THAT much. I started thinking about what I had eaten: rice, beans, rellanos, and meatballs, MICHELLE's meatballs. I recalled the last time I had them at Scott's Football party, I was PURTY SICK! IT WAS THE MEATBALLS. Oh god was it the meatballs. I was so sick for and hour and a half. I had to switch from sitting on the pot to yakking in the pot. After it had all come out, I was able to get in bed and sleep for a little bit. I got out of bed, fed Kennedy and got right back into bed. I still did not feel good. The sleep helped, thankfully, but I was scared as to how I was going to make it 45 miles home. I was supposed to meet up with Poof and Hunk, but I knew I wasn't going to make it. SORRY POOF! I will make it up to you soon.

I've recovered from the weekend, tried to forget the weekend, but then ended up laughing about the weekend.

This is my life, kids, wanna play?

Up next: lots o work and then lots o play. I'm heading to MT to hang with Sniff and Socks, oh and the doagies.

PS.. I know there are LOTS of spelling errors and I know I am horrible at punctuation... blow me. :-)

More than one flavor baby!

2006-07-17T22:47:00.000-06:00

In a recent conversation with a light skinned black man:

Light Skinned Black Man: Gurl, do you know how to dance to this song?

Gurl: Um, yah, just listen to the words...(to the left, to the left, now clap your hands).

LSBM: OOOO Gurl, OOO Gurl, Gooo Gurl!

Gurl: (Drink in hand, swayin from side to side, doing what the song tells her to do)

LSBM: Gurl, you got sum flava.

Gurl: What the fuck is flava?

I'm totally white.

Nothin but the truth, Dan (from the Real World Miami), Nothin but the truth.

2006-07-13T09:39:00.000-06:00

Kind of my philosophy for this year.

Look at my little Lena...

2006-07-06T23:27:00.000-06:00

Gosh, she's a cutie!

It's Thursday Night and I juuuuuuusssssstttt got paid

2006-07-06T23:26:00.001-06:00

I love that damn song. Well, I love the Nsync version.

Recap: Country Jam=Chill=good. Kissed a VERY cute boy and hope he wants to kiss me again. Even better than kissing=dancing in the dark. Loved that. He was too cute and of course he lives in Vail.

This time we met some really nice people/pervs. A lot of boob stare-ers but they were nice.

Met up with the old hats of 2005. Apparently our "camps were fueding". Love that. RL was just as hot, but I didn't give in to temptation. He's a bit of an ass. A hot ass, but an ass none-the-less.

Last week- had to prepare for the big ole bridal shower. I was a painting, cleaning, cooking, list making all while trying to recover from Country Jam and workin like a mad dog at the daily job. The shower, I hear, was a success. I let T-Rex do all the work. ;-) It was fun. I hope Sniff enjoyed it. All the very important peps were there.

Sunday we went to Greeley to the Stampede and saw Kyle Wiley and Sugarland. PS. T-REX Kyle is mine! You've got that new young hottied that dropped you on your head. Keep him and I'll keep Kyle. Sugarland rocked it. Had an effing blast. Apparently I was pretty drunk and kept saying "yum, yum". My supervisor saw me in all my glory and of course she approached me. Yah, she came in on Wednesday and kept saying to me "yum, yum". Great.

Monday we did some wedding stuff, mingled with G-ma Pat and had lunch with Mouse. Mouse looks tanfastic and her cake was delish! Can't wait for the wedding Mickerson B.

Poodles, how did you fare with the soon to be in-laws? Any cat fights? Any sunggles? I want details. Great to see poof as well at the shower. Let's face it, she's a babe.

Sniff and Socks went on their way back to MT, where all things are blah, cause I'm not there. :-D I came home and crashed.

Tuesday - the 4th of July- I woke up, came downstairs, planted my ass on the couch, watched 6 episodes of The First 48 and then finally took a shower at 3:30. I met Michelle and we headed down to the Rockies game. The fireworks were delayed due to the hour and a half down pour. We need the rain. The fireworks were well worth the wait. Came home, went to bed.

Work his been quick this week. Thankfully. Ready for friday!

Plans for this weekend:

Friday: Work, then The Devil Wears Prada and Superman with the girls.

Saturday: Sleep in, go to a party with the girls. The party is in Parker and our NEW country jam friends are hosting it! Yippee!!

Sunday: NO PLANS! Spend some time with my pup.

Monday: Pick up the love birds (Mon and D) from the airport and hopefully they won't sing Let's Make Love. ICK!

I leave in 2 weeks from tonight to head my arse up to MT to visit Sniff, Socks, and the gaggle of pups. Looking forward to it. I wonder who Sniff will set me up with this time? :-) Tee Hee.

Have only talked to J once. I called him on the 4th to say hi and wish him a happy holiday. I've got to think to think to myself: what is meant to be, will be. Right? It's been a long damn time peps. I mean, seriously. what? 4 months. It's a record. Jerks. Just keep myself busy. Appear confident and it will be then, that I will attract confident, horny men. LOL ha.

Sometimes you just wanna look

2006-07-06T23:21:00.000-06:00

Check THESE out...

It's with great sadness that I report...

2006-07-03T19:15:00.000-06:00

That they (the Avs) let HIM go...

You will be missed. Not really sure what I will do WITHOUT you.

He will now wear Blue... and I will now have to support him there. IT MAKES ME SICK.

WHY, GOD, WHY?

My heart hurts.

I will miss you Dan Hinote!

Oh and Rob Blake signs with the LA Kings... again. Way to go Mrs. Blake, you got what you wanted: a move back to LA...you plastic barbie, you. UGH.

Holy Teeth Batman...

2006-06-20T22:58:00.000-06:00

See ya'll soon... Country Jam is calling my name!!!

Just in time to have some fun at Country Jam!

2006-06-20T12:29:00.001-06:00

"Daily singles love (by Astrology.com)
One moment you're all riled up, the next you really can't be bothered. Blame your flip-flopping on the stars, and meanwhile, don't make any big moves or bold declarations when it comes to the love department."

Just in time to have some fun at Country Jam!

2006-06-20T12:29:00.000-06:00

Happy Father's Day

2006-06-18T01:01:00.000-06:00

Dear Dad,

You've been gone for almost 12 years. I can't even believe that it's been that long. I was only 14 when you passed and I can honestly say that I don't remember as much about you as I'd like to. Certain things do remind me of you, though. The plain chapstick that I used every night before I go to bed reminds me of you. The toothpaste that I use to brush my teeth smells like you. Everytime the Cowboys play the Redskins, I think about you. Every time I drive west, I think about how much you loved the Rocky Mountains. Everytime I see a sign for Fort Morgan, I remember how you would say it in such a funny way: FARRRRRRRRT MARRRRRGAN. Or when we would be driving with mom and how you would scream "IT'S THE PEAK!" when we would see Pikes Peak. Everytime I see a coal train, I think about you. Everytime I go on a date, I think about you. Everytime I hear Travis Tritt sing that Eagle's song, I think of you. Everytime I'm around the Mattson family, I think of you. Everytime I hear the name Cara, I think of you.

I wonder if the reason for so many of my failed dates/relationships have to do with you and your absense? I wonder how different my life would be if you were here today? I wonder and bet that you would be married to another woman and I wonder and bet that mom would have been crushed. I wonder if I would have ever finished high school or even started college? I wonder if my relationship with my best friend would be what it is today? I wonder how far you would have gone to hurt mom? I wonder if your passing was a blessing in disguise? I wonder if my obsessive compulsive behavior stems from my abandoment issues I have because you weren't there, even when you were alive. I wonder who will walk me down the isle if and when I get married? I wonder who will be that father figure to me? I wonder what kind of father you would be if you were alive today?

I've let you die. But on this day, I remember my father figure and her name is Paula. Happy Father's Day mom.

Love,

E

In my pj's, just can't sleep...

2006-06-18T00:42:00.000-06:00

It's late. It's already Sunday. I really should be in bed. But, I can't sleep or maybe it's just cause I don't want to crawl in bed. There is NOTHING on tv and my eyes hurt to much to read. But, I guess I can type. LOL.

I heard that JR Fry didn't want a committed relationship. Awe fuck em. I don't think I told him I wanted to marry him or anything. I think I did tell him that I liked him enough to go out on a 3rd date. Must have scared him to death.

I've been floating (in the most sensible way possible) all week since my "date" with Jo. I honestly feel so at peace with our meeting. It was as if he and I were the only ones in the joint. It was a great cap to a very long long time coming.

I talked to him this afternoon. I called him. Asked if he was watching the game (Stanley Cup finals between Edmonton and Carolina). And he was and I knew it. Awe, I knew he was watching the game. We shared small talk, and I asked if he wanted to get together this next week. He said yes and I can't even wait. I really want to hear more stories and stare at him some more.

I leave on Wednesday afternoon for Country Jam. Nicki, Michelle and I are headed off to the desert to drink, eat, sleep and of course listen to country music. I can't even wait. I'm taking off 3 1/2 days. Ready to have a good time, hang with the girls and dance around like goofs.

I need a pedicure, a manicure, haircut, tan, some defined muscles and some white teeth and I should be ready to go to Country Jam.

Brit was supposed to be in town this weekend, but unexpectedly expected, her fiance is being deployed here in a few weeks. I'm sad she's not going to be in town, but I understand where she needs to be. I hope your travels are safe Brit. Come back home real soon. We all miss you here in the great state of CO.

I hear our Bridesmaides dresses for Sniff's wedding will be here next week. Yikes! I can't wait to try it on! :-) I hope I look okay in it. I've been trying hard to eat better (minus the ice cream sundae I made myself tonight).

Okay, well, I knew this would do the trick. I am tired and am heading off to bed. I've got a hot date with my mom, my girls* and Kennedy for Father's Day.

*my girls= Lena M. I've known her since she was a wee lil thing. She was my very first babysitting job and she's all grown up and taking a trip with her best friend Emily. They have been in town for a few days and I've really enjoyed spending time with them. She's got the best heart of any 17 year old girl I know. It's been such a joy spending time with her. I love her more than anyone knows.

Nite,

E

Look at me!

2006-06-17T15:56:00.000-06:00

How do you all like the new look?

Trying something different.

I'm pretty proud of myself for messing with the code a bit to make things fit. I'll add a few more links, update things here and there, but first, I should shower.

Feedback is welcome!

E

This just in...

2006-06-14T15:44:00.000-06:00

A big ole congratulations are in order!

Suki and Mac got married in Vegas last Thursday. HOLY SHIT.

Yeehaw!

So, we caught up...

2006-06-13T23:31:00.000-06:00

After exchanging emails for days, dodging phone calls and then getting enough courage to call him myself, we made plans to meet.

We talked briefly last night. It was scary. My palms were sweating. I wasn't sure what to say to him. Would he want to see me? He did. We made dinner plans. I cleaned my house, made myself look pretty, and headed out to my safety restaurant: Chili's.

I stood outside waiting. I got there early so that he didn't have to wait on me. But, he got there early and came outside to meet me. We hugged for what seemed like days. He looked amazing. His smile was brighter than before, his eyes were more "tan" than I remembered. He looked so happy to see me. We sat at the bar, had a few drinks. Me, vodka cran, him a light beer. Our conversation flowed so easily. We caught up, made each other laugh, and seemed at ease with each other. We moved into a booth, to have dinner. We did, and we laughed and caught up some more. It was amazing. However, I'm not sure of his intentions. Does he want to go out again? Would it be crazy to start something up again? What a fairytale that would be.

He mentioned that he wasn't going to be hanging out much with his old friends. I'm not sure what made him come to this resolution.

He wanted to see my house, so he followed behind me. He seemed to love the house. He liked the layout and he said that it screamed of me and my style. We hung out on the couch for hours. I got out the J and E book. We looked at some pictures and reminisced. It was great. It really was. It was just so comfortable. I could have wrapped myself back up into his arms and just fallen asleep right then and right there. I would have, if he would have let me. But, I didn't cross that line.

I'm not sure what he wants. And I won't push it. I have learned my lesson. I walked him to the door and then to his car. I wanted to jump and say "never leave me". Please don't leave me ever again. Please. But, instead, I hugged him for a long time. It was one of those hugs that I wanted him to know the meaning. It meant that I was glad he was home and that I still cared for him. Cause, I obviously do. I hope he felt that. I hope he knows that I wish only the best for him. And if what is meant to be is that we were to meet up, just once, and be on good terms, than that was meant to be and I am content knowing that tonight was the end of one thing but the beginning of another. And to me, that was wonderful.

Here's to true love and knowing that it happens only once in a lifetime. And if I die alone, I will know that I at least felt loved and loved someone for a period in my life. That is the greatest gift of all. Lucky me.

My favorite game: Pants Off Dance Off!

2006-06-09T09:45:00.000-06:00

Full House star to host some show where you strip and stuff - TV Squad:
"Full House star to host some show where you strip and stuff

Jodie Sweetin is going from child star to crystal meth to striptease. She won't be doing the stripping, thankfully, but she will be hosting a new show striptease game show on the Fuse Network called Pants Off Dance-Off.

I'm not kidding. That's the title.

The show 'features people of all ages taking off their clothes to their favorite music videos.'

If you're keeping track, this is the 5th sign that the apocalypse is near.

[via TV Tattle]"

It's official...

2006-06-06T22:42:00.000-06:00

I'm going out of my mind. I'm nervous as hell and I'm tired too.

J comes home in exactly 24 hours. I was thinking of going to the airport in a disguise, just to watch him. But, that's so creepy and weird and honestly, I'm not a stalker people. But, it would be nice to see him, right as he gets off the plane.

I've worked out every day this week and I'm sleeping better. I'm eating better which is good but damn it I want a Molten Hot Lava cake from Chili's. But, this is all for the better me. I already look a bit better. I even bought free weights. Don't mess with my guns kids. I'm cool.

My review came and went. I still have a job. It was a mixed review. I wish it were different. It's hard for me to swallow that not everyone likes me. Ugh. Someone actually made a comment to my boss that I was inappropriately dressed while setting up for a meeting. I laughed. I ONLY wear suits while onsite at a meeting and yes, that girl did see me in black capri's, flip flops and a sweatshirt while eating breakfast at 8 am on a day that I didn't have to begin setting up until noon. You're damn right I was inappropriately dressed for a meeting. Good thing I wasn't "working" at the fucking time. Jerk.

And apparently everyone thinks I roam with the students after I am done working a 12 hour shift. Fucking bitches. I'm exhausted and have NO desire to hang out with our student volunteers. I occasionally will have one or two drinks at the bar to be social, but I am the constant professional and get to bed a decent time, do my work and go home. Jerks.

This one time at work, I received 2 dozen red roses. 2 coworkers walked by my office and promptly said: "what did you have to do to get those?" Are you kidding me? I'm not a whore, you asses. (BTW, those flowers were from a guy I had gone on ONE date with. We met while I was volunteering at Chatfield State Park at the pumpkin patch and apparently I was irresistible and he HAD to have my number. He called, asked me out, we went out and he became obsessed. I never went out with him again, because he had planned our future after ONE date. YIKES!!!)

I love how people at work create these elaborate stories about me. I ain't that cool people, I promise.

Still haven't heard from JR Fry. I'm so over that crap.

Was involved in an incident this weekend that has really thrown me off. I'm a bit frustrated and pissed to say the very least. I'm about over this repeated situation and am about over being told that I'm rude, and that I suck. Do I really suck? Am I really that rude? I know that I can be harsh. I pull the no nonsense, no bullshit thing cause that's who I am. I don't sugar coat things cause I don't have to. I tell you how I feel and if you don't like it, don't listen. I want to surround myself with people who love me for the shit I say, the shit I don't say and then put up with me saying it and know that I'm not going to censor myself. I work my friendships like a two way street. You better have a license, cause if you don't I don't want to be on the same street. This is a friendship, meet me halfway and I'll be your friend for life, fuck me over not once, twice or more than three times and I can brush you off. I want to work at this, but until you meet me halfway, I refuse to work that hard. Plus, I want to surround myself with people who want to work at a friendship.

Well, I should ride this sleepy wave. I'm exhausted.

Looking forward to telling you about my next few days.

E

A few things...

2006-06-01T22:05:00.000-06:00

TFI ALMOST Friday.

It's only 10 and I am so tired. I've been working out like a maniac for the past 4 days. I am trying to get into a "thing" so that I start to like running and cycling. It's actually been good. I feel good and I sleep like an effin baby. It's been nice, because I haven't been able to sleep lately. I can tell this is good for me. And Sniff has been a good motivator. I've come up with a motto that has helped me get through my loathing of the workout session.

My motto: No excuses 2006!

I get on the effin treadmill and say to myself, "run your fucking ass off, E." I'm attempting to wake up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow and work out for 30 minutes. I want to get it out of the way, as I am going out with the girls tomorrow.

We are going to see The Break-Up with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn. I can't even tell you how excited I am to see the girls, and see this damn movie.

On to other things:

Boys: JR Fry has NOT called me in a week and a half. SERIOUSLY. WTF. I can't even believe it. He was out of town last week and then had family in town until Tuesday of this week. At least that is what he said. So, I haven't heard from him. I'm super pissed and really hurt actually. We had 2 REALLY promising dates. UGH.

Nice Yahoo Guy: He's out of town on vaca right now. He's called once and we have chatted online a few times. Looking forward to a second date with him. Hopefully not at his house, seeing as he has a cat and I am deathly allergic to cats. UGH.

J: Well, he comes home in less than a week. He's the reason I can't sleep, am working my ass off and am bouncing around this chair I am sitting in right now. He wants to see me. And I want to see him. I am freaking out inside. Has he changed? Have I changed? Have the both of us changed so much that we won't be able to stand each other? Who the hell knows. UGH.

On to other, other things:

I have my review tomorrow. I've been trying really hard to just come to work, do my work, not talk to as many people as possible, leave work and then SERIOUSLY leave work at work. I don't get paid enough to bring that shit home with me. Who knows if I will even have a job tomorrow. I do know that I will have something to say to my boss. Hopefully she won't do that defensive thing she does and make me melt to the ground loosing all train of thought. UGH. Wish me luck.

I need to paint two walls in my house next weekend. Mom, wanna help?

My uncle got engaged 2 weeks ago. He's VERY excited. He mentioned to my mother that they wanted to get married this September. Fuck no! I won't be able to make it. I've already got 30 weddings in September. So, I told him that it would be likely that I would miss the wedding if they had it in September. I thought for sure he would have to "clear" that with the woman. He told her that they would have to wait until next year because I couldn't come. Well, and that it's virtually impossible to find a venue, in the mountains at this late juncture. Asses. Listen to the planner. I know the ways, bitches.

I'm still disturbed that JR Fry has NOT called. He hasn't even text messaged me. WTF dude?! I'm a cool girl, why the fuck can't you see that, why can't people see that? And by people, I don't mean girlfriends, I mean men, WHY CAN'T MEN SEE THAT. Maybe it's because I keep telling people I'm cool. UGH.

I'm about to start my period. I'm unusally chipper dispite that last paragraph. I'm kinda used to the, YOU REALLY AREN'T AS COOL AS YOU THINK YOU ARE thing. I'm numb to the fact that this is the way it is. I'm becoming a little less bitter everyday. Execpt, I would like to mention I was the ONLY single girl at Sniff's bridal shower the other day. Pretty eye opening. I guess I always liked standing out, but I thought I'd do that by being the funny one, or the girl with the cute shoes, but never the "single" girl. That's okay, like I said, I'm slowly getting used to the idea that single is just the way it is.

Last night I did something I almost never do. Once I'm asleep for the evening, I'm down for the count. But last night I woke up at 2 a.m. got out of bed, put the window fan in the window, turned it on and then went to the bathroom. I NEVER do that. I must have been really hot and must have really had to pee. I'm weird.

Well, I am seeing crosseyed right now. I must be tired. Wish me luck on my review, on me getting up and actually working out at 6:30 tomorrow morning and wish me the strength not to hunt down JR Fry and kick him square in the balls. FUCK OFF.

Sweet dreams,

E

I'm looking at you...

2006-05-29T23:29:00.000-06:00

I took this picture when I was in Philly on a site visit. I am obsessed with my new hair color and my new straightner. My mom would be proud of my cheek bones, and my stylist would be proud of my shiny hair. I think the dark circles under my eyes look mysterious and sickly. I wonder what the pick up line for this look would sound like? "Wanna get some sleep?"

When an Ex comes home.

2006-05-25T14:02:00.000-06:00

My email's are in red, his are in blue. Hmm...

Hi J!

Just checkin' in to see how you are, where you are and to ask you if you are excited to come home. Only a few more days! Are you on vacation? Keep me posted!!! Hope to chat with you soon!

E

_________________________________________________________________

From: J
Sent: Thursday, May 25, 2006 8:09 AM
To: E
Subject: Re: So, How are you?

Hi E, hope you are well. I just left my site this morning...pretty sad, my host mother cried and I almost did as well. End of an era. I am heading to Casablanca to send off some luggage to America, then I head to Rabat for four days. A week from today I will officially be a Returned PCV, then I fly to Amsterdam on Friday and stay for a week. I am due to get back to Denver on the 7th...if you would like i will gt in touch with you and we can meet up. Let me know. It was a long time coming, and I am very excited it is over!!!

Take care,

J

___________________________________________________________________

E wrote:

YIPPEE! J! Congrats to you! Woohoo! Time to celebrate and take a vacation! I hope you have a great time in Amsterdam! I wish I was on vacation right now. I need a healthy break!

Please, let's get together when you come home. I know you will be pretty busy with E and C's wedding right as you get back, but lets get together when things settle down for you.

You could come up and see my house! Here are my digits: cell: 303-6xx-xxxx, home: 303-8xx-xxxx.

Yippee for you J! I'm so excited for you. Looking forward to seeing you again too!

Talk to you later!

_________________________________________________________________
From: J
Sent: Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:24 AM
To: E
Subject: RE: So, How are you?

I am excited, but it hasn't really hit me yet. I think it will be more sad saying goodbye to my American friends here.

Same cell phone number I see...lokking forward to seeing you and your house!

You should definitely make some time for a short vacation, even a weekend trip...all work and no play is no way.

But, you are going to Jenny's wedding soon right?

_________________________________________________________________

E wrote:

Same cell number! So call me when you get in. I am actually taking a half day today and a full day tomorrow. Jenny is coming in town to do wedding stuff... we get to be all girly and do a trial run for our hairdo's. That's tonight and then we are having one of her showers on Saturday at Wash Park. We plan on doing some shopping, going to the mountains for a day and just I am having a slumber party on Saturday. Mary is coming up from New Mexico and Jenny will be here allllllllll weekend. I can't wait!

I am taking another small trip. A few girlfriends and I go to a big country concert festival down in Grand Junction. We camp for 4 days, drink, eat, and go to concerts where we get silly. It's great. I actually sleep in a tent. Imagine that!?! It's a lot of fun and I come back pretty tired and pretty hung over.

Jenny's wedding is September 8. I am taking a few days off for that too. I'll be the social coordinator for that... I'm really looking forward to the wedding. Should be a lot of fun. Lots of dancing, lots of food and lots of emotion. :-) How are the plans for the C and E's wedding coming along? You have a tux? Where are they holding the ceremony and reception? C told me once, but I have since forgotten.

I'm very excited for you, J! I bet you are excited to see your family. I bet your mom is counting down the days until you come home. Is everyone coming to the airport to pick you up? Yippee! I keep saying yippee! I'm not sure why. I can't believe it's been 2 years. wow.

_________________________________________________________________

Wow, sounds like you have some exciting times ahead! I can imagine you tenting it...not sure why we never went camping, although we did have that great trip to the cabin.

I believe E's wedding is all planned out and ready to go. Of course I haven't got anything to do with it other than showing up. I have my tux ordered, but I have to pick it up the day after I get back, which should be fun as I leave Amsterdam at nine in the morning and get to DIA at 10:40pm, so I will be tired!!! Hopefully the tux fits, I was measured in Azilal and I am not sure I translated everything correctly, plus they use centemeters here. I can't remember the name of where the wedding is, but it is in Thornton...jake's going to be there and I haven't seen him in like four years, plus most of my friends.

I can't believe it, two years gone by...it went so fast, yet so slow!!! Thanks for your enthusiasm and support E, it really means a lot to me...

1/2 Day

2006-05-25T13:37:00.000-06:00

Hi Ya'll!

Hope everyone (Annie, Mary and Jenny) is doing well. I know I am! I've been in such a good mood these past few weeks. I mean, with 3 dates AND my best friends are coming to town for Sniff's bridal shower! I can't wait!

So, 3 dates and one clear winner. Um yah. I liked the JR Fry the best and well. We've seemed to hit it off. Date number 2 is out of the way. Our first date played out like this: Meet at Brauns for good conversation and good drinks. Stay there for 2 hours. He asked me where I wanted to go, I natually selected a sports bar (duh) and he went along with it. He then said he had actually planned something for us to do. He said, "I thought maybe we could go listen to live music? What do you think?!?!" I was AMAZED that someone else had actually planned something. I was in shock and off we headed to Elway's. Very swanky with an older crowd and the live music was great. Fan-fuckin-tastic. I was really getting along with this guy. He made me laugh, he paused our conversation to look at the hockey scores, and we laughed some more. It was great. We stayed here for about 2 hours and then got back into his car and to my amazement he turned on country music. We sang our hearts out to Garth Brooks. I mean seriously, was this my dream date or what? Nothing like singing Garth, loudly, in the car. It was great. And I was floating for days. The best part. He walked me to my car. Asked if he could kiss me and before I could even say yes, it happened. It was great. I had no idea what to expect.

I stayed home on Friday night to get my house in order for my guests. So, when JR Fry ran into my best girlfriend downtown, I hear he asked all the right questions and was very interested in what I had told the girls about our date. Michelle, the contant best-friend, played it cool and let him believe that everything was cool. He passed the friend test. :-).

Saturday, I went down to the big HR to get my hair cut and colored. JR Fry is currently staying at his family's rental property, oh, right by my mom's house. A second date was meant to be. :-)
As I was leaving my stylist's house, I got a phone call from whom I thought was JR Fry. Instead it was his best friend.

"Oh hey, Keith, whatcha doin?

Well, Erin, I'm with my boy JR Fry and just wanted to say hi. You're going out with JR Fry tonight, correct?

Yes, I am

Um, actually, Erin this is incorrect.

It is?

Yah, I was calling you to see if John could reschedule? You see, I'm running this 24 hour marathon and would really like JR Fry's support. How do you feel about that?

Oh, Okay. I'm cool with that. If you need the "athletic support", then I completly understand. But, Keith, YOU will have to send me flowers to make up for it. Cool?

HA HA... well, okay then. Thanks for letting him reschedule, but I just wanted to see how you would react. He is actually on his way down to meet you. I was just testing you!

It was then I starting sweating! I was just given the friend test. And Keith said I passed.

:-)

So, JR Fry and I met at his house and we started out with one glass of wine. We sat on the deck and talked and laughed.

We decided to get out of the house and head over to a local bar and sit on the rooftop deck. It was lovely there too. We got to know each other better and had a few more cocktails. We went back to his house and had another glass of wine and then watched some TV. I fell asleep but awoke to JR Fry ...

And that is all I am sharing folks!

I hadn't heard from Yahoo Tim. He was an ass to me when I called to cancel our date because I was sick. I didn't hear from him until last night. He asked why I hadn't called and I gave him the riot act. He could have at least checked in on me. I told him I had been busy and that when things slowed for me, that I would call. I probably won't. Here's a direct quote from our first date: "So, Erin, do you like to Mountain Bike? Um, no. I don't even own a bike". He then replied with: " Oh that will change". Oh lord, he's out! Don't try and change me. It ain't gonna happen!

And as for that Sean guy. He's much better looking in person and honestly so HUNKY. He's a bit of a nerd, but I like him. I'm keeping my doors open.

OK, I need to contine with my cleaning. Almost done! Sniff will be here in just a few hours! I can't wait. We are going to do a trial hair run tonight! It's gonna be so fun!

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend!

Home from work

2006-05-16T10:56:00.000-06:00

So, I took a sick day today. Cause, well, I'm sick. I got poisoned! Damn that salad from Safeway. Ick. I feel like total crap. And I'm pissed about it too because this week was going to be great. I had scheduled 3 dates THAT'S RIGHT 3 dates beginning today, tomorrow and Thursday. And the best part is, I have three dates with three different people! Woot Woot.

I went on a date last Thursday with a guy named Tim. We had one drink and said see ya later. We were both tired. He did happen to play footsy with me and proceeded to tell me that if I took off my shirt, "that would be JUUUUUUST fine". Ugh. I was probably an inch taller than him, which typically doesn't bother me too much, but then he smiled. His teeth are a bit crooked. I like good looking teeth. He's a bit on the aggressive side. Which typically I like, but this was not really working for me. I told him we could go on another date (I wanted to see if he would redeem himself) so we planned on going to the Rockies game tonight. But, I blew it (litterally).

Tomorrow's date is the date I am most looking forward to. Lets call him JR Fry. I met him through a friend (holy crap, the first guy I HAVEN'T met from the internet) and we have been chatting on the phone for a couple of weeks. We seem to have a lot in common and he's sooo funny. He just moved back from SLC on Sunday. I can't even wait for this date. :-) Yippee!

And my date on Thursday is with a professional guy named Sean. He's got a very dry sense of humor. He's cute too! He owns his own business and is just a nice guy! The only thing is: he has a cat. Ick. So, we will have to see.

Update: Josiah comes home in 3 weeks. Wow.

Well, I've exherted all of my energy typing, so I am going back to bed.

Wish me luck on my remaining two dates.

Oh, Thinking About All Our Younger Years...

2006-05-09T00:22:00.000-06:00

I heart Bryan Adams with a wooden spoon. If I had more energy, I'd type about the most rocked out concert I went to last night. But since I am only hours away from going to Portland, I can't. I'm pooped. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.

But, I will write when I get the chance. MMMMmmmmm kay, BRIT?

On this final note I leave you with Bryan Adam lyrics to the most amazing song EVER... THIS IS MY SONG AND NO ONE CAN STEAL IT!!!!

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothin' can take you away from me
We bin down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've bin waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

The Reason I Own My Own Home:

2006-04-26T23:16:00.000-06:00

I can make my house as tacky or as tasteful as I want!
In honor of Game 3. GO AVS GO!

I think I might write a book...

2006-04-25T21:18:00.000-06:00

And I think I might call it: O The Un-Lucky Dating Attempts of the Single Irish Girl.

Whaddoyathink?

Not catchy really but goofy. More like me.

***So... I just got back from Akron, OH. I was there on business where I ran the registration desk for my beloved company. I knew going there that I would be running into one volunteer that had a wee-bit of a crush on me. How did I know that he had a wee little crush you ask? Well, I got a stalker like email from him a few days before I came out saying something to this effect: EMPY, I hear you are coming to town for the BLAHDEE BLAH BLAH meeting. I would really like to take you out for coffee or maybe even take you out to dinner on my motorcycle. Looking forward to seeing you in Akron. STALKER BOY.

***Now, please remember I have millions of admirers and can hardly keep them all straight. And this one, I honestly could not remember his face, how creepy this guy really was and anything about any sort of motorcycle. The coordinator of the meeting kept warning me about him and how excited Stalker Boy was when he found out I was running registration. So, the coordinator and his coordinator "friends" all tagged teamed me and swore up and down that they would "take care of me" and fend off Stalker Boy. HMMMM... Seriously, am I really that hot? Do others feel like they need to protect me? Well, as soon as I saw him (I was warned he was coming up the stairs) all the memories of last years encounter came flooding back. He was this super cute, REALLY annoying guy that tried to impress me with his motorcycle language. If you know me or anything about me, I hate motorcycles. I hate what they represent and I'm a total chicken. I'd never ride on one primarily because of fear. So, when some guy talks motorcycles to me, I lose ALL interest. Now, I know I've offended a few people. Wait, no I haven't! Only 3 people read this blog and none of them have motorcycles. Hmm. Well, anyway, he approached and was actually very nice. No weird, creepy vibes. He did ask me out for coffee. I said he could bring me coffee as I was not able to leave my post. He never produced said coffee, therefore you are OUT! Poof, be gone! He did mention his bike once and my mind went a wandering. WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BIKE?!?? NOT I, SAID THE MEETING PLANNER.

***Enter next Stalker:
Lets call him Lonely, timid, touchy, feely guy. LTTFG for short. He was also at my meeting last year. I was not interested in him. I was interested in his friend. The nice friend who happened to have a girlfriend. We flirted and that was it. I hardly gave LTTFG any attention because he never stepped up to the plate. He was so timid that I was bored. Anywoodle, last Wednesday I made my way to the Student Union to begin my set up. I walked in the door and saw my little buddy LTTFG. I've never seen someone's eyes light up like that before. I think he even wet himself a bit. Nice guy, that's for sure, but honestly, the guy needs to put his mouse back in the house. Simmer down now. About every 5 minutes LTTFG would come over to my post and say hi, ask me to have lunch, dinner, anything that involves food and soul connecting. ICK! He was the arm touching type of a guy. Nothing firm about him at all. He never made an aggressive move. And there was not one thing that I liked about him. He is around 27 years old, balding, short and plump. I'm not into guy. No way. I turned him down when he asked repeatedly for a date. I'm really not into dating student volunteers. Especially from other states. And honestly, who would EVER pick the city of Akron to live in? That place needs some sass, some flare and some fucking spices in their food. Ick. I was so ready to come home, I actually flew home on the earliest flight out I could find. I won't go back to visit. Nice people, just a very BLAND place to live. Anyway, LTTFG was disappointed that I left early as I received a promt email from him when I returned to the office yesterday morning. Ick. I didn't respond. I won't either.

***Enter LOSER:
This guy was supposed to be protecting me from the stalker. He was tall, much more handsome than LTTFG. This guy was forward. Everyone knows I like the forward guys. I was a bit intrigued but as he started out slow and easy and then went off on how LTTFG was too timid and too shy. He then blurted out: You want a guy who can tell you "I LIKE PUSSY and I LIKE YOURS. You want a guy who says: I WANNA THROW ONE IN YA." No shit this guy said this to me at a party. I wanted to die. I of course did not shudder or scowl. I laughed it off, but wanted to punch him in the nuts.

For-fucking-real, I should write a book.

***I got home on Saturday to a phone call from another meeting attendee that I've know for as long as I've worked at my current job. He's written me love notes, told his friends, he loves me, visited me even and has now decided to move to COLORADO. Why GOD, why? It's bad enough that Asshat lives here now. Do you want me to suffer. He's gonna wanna come visit all the time. He's only gonna be 35 miles up the road. Oh jeezums. He thinks I want to date him now, doesn't he. For fucks sake, someone please pray for me.

***Oh and how does this sound for a LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE type of an email:

Asshat,

I don't want you to email me. I don't want you to be civil to me. I don't want ANYTHING from you. So, get the hint. Please leave me alone. I don't want a friendship. I don't want a working relationship. I've moved on. You should to.

Leave me alone. Don't try and contact me. Don't try to find me in Erie. Don't seek me out. We are over in every sort of way.

Leave me alone.

Am I clear? Have I made my point? Do you read me?

EMPY

***So, I told ya'll that I am trying this online dating thing again. And well, I've had some interesting emails, responses and "winks". I've started corresponding to several of them and one, I've even called. We seemed to hit it off. He's a bit of a cheese, but I liked our how we interacted. We did the whole get to know you thing and he mentioned he knew a meeting planner that worked for Wells Fargo. My mind immediately went to a girl I had only heard about but her name was Monica. And I have only heard about her through my ex-boyfriend Brad. He dates a meeting planner named Monica and apparently she is JUST THE BEST. BLAH BLAH BLAH. So, I put two and two together and well, cheese boy knew my ex-bf's girlfriend. How does he know her you ask? He knows her because he USED TO LIVE WITH BRAD! Out of all the people on the net, on the personals dating site, he knows MY EX. For fucks sake (again), what is God trying to teach me here? What lesson is meant to be learned?
Yah, I've basically jumped ship with this guy. Oh well. Again, these are the days of my dating life.

BLAH!

I Hate When I Get Mistaken for a Turkey

2006-04-24T13:18:00.000-06:00

Barry Nofsinger, 33, had gone turkey hunting with friends Saturday morning, using calls to lure the birds, when someone in another group mistook him for a turkey and shot him.

who knew I was such a hottie?

2006-04-20T20:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm in Akron, Ohio working a meeting and who ever knew I was so hot? I have had TWO offers for dates. One from a stalker. I guess I was known before I even got here. He's been talking me up in his department. Icky.

The other has probably never seen live, real boobs in his almost 30 years. He's the brother type. And a bit too touchy for my liking. I'd probably like the touching if I thought he was cute, but icky.

I obviously look very different than the other girls here. I'm a bit more put together. Oh, and I shower. Lol.

PS... If I could get some kind od flavor in my food, that would be great...mmmm kay. Thanks Akron. You might consider some green chili.

Mama's tired. My ass is already in bed.

Bloglines | My Feeds (602)

2006-04-13T14:58:00.000-06:00

Wagon Humper

2006-04-11T23:37:00.000-06:00

I've fallen off the wagon. Oh wait, I fell onto the wagon. No, I think I got poked by the wagon. Any which way, it was nice.
3 months and 9 days. It was about DAMN time.

:-)

Feeling about 10 lbs lights, wearing a brighter smile and smelling like a goddess.

I'm back baby!

Jumping in... Again

2006-04-09T14:40:00.000-06:00

Whelp, I'm jumping in head first this time. I've decided to rejoin Yahoo Personals and Match.com.

I am very hesitant to do so, but I've got no other option. I've not had one single date this year and it's ALREADY April 9th. So, yah, I've not had sex since last year. And really, I've just become this bitter, single girl. I hate cats, but I think I might adopt one just to go along with my old, bitter, cat woman persona that I seem to be living.

Although I haven't had a date, I have been hit on.

One guy used this line: Wanna see my trophy? Shocked, I answered, 'sure'. He then opened his cell phone and showed me a picture. A PICTURE OF A TOILET WITH THE LARGEST MOST DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT FLOATING IN IT. He then said to me 'I did that'. OMG! Did that 27 year old CHILD just show me his poop in a toilet? Did he think I would want to RIDE, RIDE, RIDE his pony now that he showed me his shit. I couldn't believe it.

Then, one small person tried to chest pump me in Vegas at Studio 54. Oh yah and Jenny tried to pimp me out to a reasonably good looking guy. Correct me Sniff if this is wrong, but she said something to the effect of 'this is my single friend' and he then mentioned that he was looking for his wife and then proceeded to look me up and down and said to me in my ear, 'I'd sleep with you'.

I could write a fucking book.

So, the purpose to my blog is that I've rejoined the online personals dating world again, hoping to find a decent date.I will tell you that I was a bit taken aback when my first email after I signed up was from a girl. Yikes! But, the girl had been looking at her competition and found me. We live in the same town and seem to be pretty similar. She wanted to know I was interested in meeting a new "girlfriend". I thought that was nice. I, personally, have never looked at my competition. I'm insecure enough, why the hell would I want to see what other girls have to offer. But, hey, maybe I will meet a new friend up here in the big E-town.

Wish me luck. And then wish for some really awful dates, because I know that the awful stories make for better laughs rather than the all googly lovey ones. Seriously, does anyone else in this world lead a life of suck such as mine. And can anyone in this world laugh at their world of suck, like I do. I don't think so. If so, please email me. I'd love to swap stories.

***Disclaimer... my life only sucks in the dating world. I've got a pretty posh life, good friends and family... no complaints there. So please don't email me with 'look on the brighter side, you've got great friends, good family, a good job...BLAH BLAH BLAH'... I do. I know I do, but I want an honest to goodness hot date. That's it... and the people who probably email me that look at the other side crap of an email probably have a hot date... so suck it. :-)***

Hope you are all have a lovely weekend. :-)

Go Avs Go!

E

VEGAS BABY! A Weekend to Remember:

2006-04-04T00:23:00.000-06:00

To Put Things Into Perspective...

2006-03-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a letter I just wrote to a girlfriend I've known since 1998.

Hey T!

Sorry I missed you last night. I was actually in the middle of hanging a curtain! I couldn't get to you before you signed off.

So, our group has had some big news lately. All the babies, and all the engagements and marriages. And then, I knew one day it would happen, the cancer announcement. I never thought I'd hear those words so soon into our young lives. I can honestly say that when I heard the news, my stomach turned and my heart sank. I'm not going to tell you that I'm okay, cause I'm not. S is much stronger that I am. And it was sad that she needed to tell me that it was going to be okay. I feel so selfish for taking the news the way I did. I know she will be fine, cause she's got the most fight in her out of all of us, but still, you just never want to hear those words.

I've got a journal I write in. Everyday I write in it. I've yet to put these feelings down in my journal. It then makes them real. And I'm not too sure I can handle that right now. How are you feeling about this whole thing? How did you react?

I'm hangin in there. All is well in my neck of the woods. Give me a call when you can.

Talk to you soon,

E

So, I got the news that my good girlfriend S, has Thyroid Cancer. We just learned about a month ago that she is pregnant. She's having a little girl. I'm going to be an Auntie to little Maddison Grace. I can't even wait. I heard the news when S called to give me the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. The good, they are having a girl and S's boobs have grown to be a 34 C!!! The bad: She's got cancer. The ugly: It's got to be monitored. And if it grows, they do surgery while pregnant. If it doesn't, the surgery will come 10 days after Maddy Grace is born. And then comes the radiation. And S won't be able to breast feed the baby or even be around the baby for 2 weeks. My heart has offically broken. S is so healthy. She's a runner. She eats well, and she's fit. Why her? Why while she is pregnant? I mean, Jesus, she's pregnant.

I cried when she told me. She had to console me. How selfish of me to have the cancer patient console the friend. I'm a complete wreck. I found out a week ago and really haven't had time to process it. I actually pushed it out of my mind. I'm too sad to want to go there. I was gone for most of the week, so that was a nice distraction. But, I'm home now. And I need to think about it.

S is only 25. Cancer can happen to 25 year olds. Please read about Thyroid Cancer here and here.

Keep S, her new hubby and their baby, Maddison Grace in your thoughts and prayers.

Maybe I will meet my future husband on this website...

2006-03-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I like to take pictures of myself and submit them to randsom websites. CLICK HERE TO SEE WHERE I'VE BEEN.

Please, More Cowbell!

2006-03-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day!

2006-03-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

9news.com News Shamrocks not just the luck of the Irish: "'Shamrock only exists on St. Patrick's Day. Every other day of the year, it's just young clover,' said botanist Charles Nelson, Ireland's leading shamrock expert."

Sometimes...

2006-03-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

I heart being a major bitch, complaining about my life on here and not have any regrets as to what I have just written. I'm the type that likes not having to justify why I feel a certain way. I am what I am. It is what it is.

I'm just sayin!

PS... it is stunningly beautiful here today.

a few things

2006-03-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

1) this blog has been mentioned on a very cool website. Go to selfportraitday.com to see me featured. Kinda cool!

2) still in OK. Loving having the time off. It"s needed.

3) my puppy, kennedy is in the doggie hospital. He had his galbladder removed and for a while there it was very touch and go. I miss him. If you believe in puppy prayers, please say one for him.

4) I heart curly haired students who look young, but that are really older than me.

5) I heart dates with curly haired students.

6) whoever knew I was such a pimp on the OU campus. I got the Benz this week!

7) listening to thunder in bed isn't as fun as listening to thunder in bed WITH someone.

8) I could have built a mansion down here in mustang. Hmmmm... Maybe I could have a second home?

9) never watch a scary tv show with my lil sister, kiki and step mom while step pop is plotting how to scare the bageebus out of us on the stairs. Yikes... I think I peed a lil bit.

10) there is nothing like a larapin dr. Pepper in the south.

11) and last but not least, it's really true, distance does make the heart grow fonder. I miss you all!

Boomer Sooner!

2006-03-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it to oklahoma. I'm staying on campus at this hotel that used to be a dorm. It isn't the worst, it's just a dorm. Hard beds, old carpet, old everything, but I do get cmt in my room. So I will deal with the the dorm style of this so called hotel.

I get to drive my family friends car while I'm here. A mercedes. Is that how you spell it? Anyway, I don't realy know much about cars, but this one seems nice.

So, I'm here. My laptop doesn't work in my dorm room/hotel room, so I'm using my sidekick. This thing has come in so handy.

I've been here almost one whole day and I STILL haven't had braums. I start working today at 2 so maybe me and the merc with yonder on over to one here on campus.

Update*** mom and I still not getting along. All I have to say is buck the fuck up. I was here first. Now there's the spoiled only child coming out in me.

I received some interesting news from a girlfriend yesterday. Needless to say, I'm shocked....2 MONTHS!!!

It's so nice to be away from home. I needed a break.

Well I need to hop in the shower. In honnor of being on the OU campus, I leave you with this little ditty...

Boomer Sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner, OKU.
Boomer born, sooner bred, boomer die, til sooner dead.
Raw oklahoma, raw oklahoma, raw oklahoma, OKU!

Are you kidding me?

2006-02-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

this is a nightmare. did i just receive that email from him. i joked all week with my friends that if he did, i would freak. well here it is. he is and i'm freaking.

It's late, I should be out, but I'm not... cause I'm lame.

2006-02-26T00:06:00.000-07:00

My Saturday consisted of me getting up at 10 and then going back to bed at 1 and napping until 5. I then remained in my pjs all day, just as I did last weekend.

Kind of in a funk. Kind of need to get out of this city. Really PMSing.

When in Vegas with the girls a month or so ago, I met a young cutie named Jacob. He said he would call... He didn't.

Got stood up by Hockey Hottie a few weeks ago. That was fucking nice. In recent posts you all know that I was all dressed up with no where to go, so I took pictures. SEE: I am not a mutant all the time!

Got an email from Asshat this week. Thankfully, he is leaving his company. We won't work together again. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

My mother hasn't come up to visit me in over two months. That seriously pisses me off.

Her boyfriend sent me a very offensive political email this week. I went off.

I did get an email back from my ex. He officially said sorry to me. It was refreshing. And my heart was a little less unbroken.

Is it sad that the only thing that really makes me happy about the weekends is the additional sleep and that Grey's Anatomy is on.

I actually used my treadmill this week. I even RAN on the damn thing for almost an hour. It was nice... sure, I'll keep telling myself that.

I'm still obsessed with the Olympics. And still wish my ex was here to watch them with me.

I recently went to one of those SLUMBER parties. I spent some cash, but am happy to report that out of my 2 girlfriends, I was the one who spent the least. I wonder what that says about me.

Saw Josh Gracin last night. It was okay. Lots of teenagers. Too many for my liking. And Jesus was it hot in there last night.

Leaving for OK next Saturday. Going back to my roots. Thank God. I can't wait to get out of this fucking town. I feel like I am stuck right now. I plan on meeting up with my pre-school friends and their significant others, my "fam" and fill the void of me being single with Braums Ice Cream, cheeseburger and fries. OK here I come.

We aren't really able to work overtime right now. And that means that I am living paycheck to paycheck right now. That's nice. Again, it would be nice to have someone to share the bills with.

I was telling Sniff tonight that I think karma has really played a role in why I can't get a single date, bad or good. I was a Target a couple months back to print some pictures on the print pictures yourself machine. There was one of those camera cards in the machine. Ya know, the cards that hold all of your pictures. Well, there was one in the machine. It had obviously been left by someone. And what did I do? I took it. I put it in my purse and took it. Yah, that was wrong. And I think someone is punishing me, as they should. I took someone's camera card thing. I mean, everyone knows, I'm a lucky girl. I'm the one who gets the great parking spots at the mall, I find killer sales, I always win the door prize. But over the past few years, my luck in dating has sucked. I just got an email on myspace from this cutie. I went to his site to check him out and what personal quiz does he have on his profile? He's got the WHAT DRUG ARE YOU? quiz. WTF? How do I attract these types of people? Do I look like I like guys who do drugs? Do I look like I like the rowdy types? Do I put off a vibe that I like losers that live at home with their mom and a cat?!?! CATS!?!?! Everyone knows, I HATE CATS! Seriously, it has to be because I took that card. Right? I'd like to place blame on that. Okay.

Oh yah, and Sniff, I think your bridal party song should be Dancing Queen by ABBA instead of Lets Stay Together by Al Green. I mean seriously, I don't really want to stay together with the MARRIED best man! Yah, Dancing Queen is good. It totally goes with my single status. And for the love of all things good, please invite some single people to your wedding. I always say that to all my friends that are getting married and they always reply: we don't really know any single people. Nice. I guess I am the last single person left in the world. Yah, I should just get some lovin soon. I might ease up on this being single shit. It's been over 57 days, you know. Yikes.

Okay, I've bitched enough, at least for tonight.

Buuuuurrrrrrrrr

2006-02-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

It's effing cold and windy and I've not even ventured out of my house in 2 days. It's too damn cold. I think I might have to put on a scarf... IN MY HOUSE.

I think my new phone will be here today! I can't even wait!!!!!

Yippee!!!

My Humps, My Lovely Lady Lumps, Check It Out

2006-02-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

So, I played my mom the Black Eyed Pea song Lumps last weekend in the car. She giggled the entire song while I danced like an idiot. I could tell she liked the song and thought it was "cute".

I called her up today and she answered with that same giggle. And so the conversation goes:

Me: Hi Mom, whatcha doin?
Mom: Tee Hee, Guess what I just did?
Me: What, you goofy woman?
Mom: I just downloaded that Lumps song as my cell phone ringer! I just love that song! Hee Hee!

HOLY SHIT. My mom is cool.
Just one question: How the hell does she know how to download a ringer on her cell phone but not know how to open an email attachment?

I heartchu Mom!

Finally, a night off

2006-02-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

What a busy week it was at work. I'm glad it's over. And I'm glad that I have a 3 day weekend. What do you all have planned?

Tonight I came home and promptly put on my sweats. It's so cold here right now. I'm ready for the sun to make it's presence known again. I had cereal for dinner and napped on and off tonight. It was great. I didn't answer phone calls either. Well, one from my mom. We watched a bit of Dancing with the Stars together.

Tomorrow I am going to HR to get my hair cut and colored. Looking forward to that. I am also going to visit a co-worker that is in the hospital. He will be there until Monday and I'd sure like to have some company if I were in the hospital over a long weekend.

Sunday I plan on catching up on my Tivo, watching Grey's Anatomy (my most favorite show) and hanging out, doing laundry, cleaning up the place a bit.

I've got Monday off, so maybe I will go have lunch with my mom or with the girls. That could be fun!

I've seriously been busy every weekend since November. It's going to be nice to hang out here with myself. I need this. I need a break from everything, everyone. I can't wait, either. Some people wonder why I do this; why I need breaks from friends/family. All I can say is that my mother is exactly the same way. And I'm an only child and have been on my own since I was 18. I like the breaks. I dreaded going to college because I knew I would never get those breaks. That's part of the reason I visited home so much my first year at school. I knew my mother understood. My mother has been in a 3+ year relationship. They don't plan on getting married. They don't live with each other (that would ruin the whole needing space thing). She sees him 3-4 days a week and has her "break" the rest of the week and it works well for them. I know my break time is a way for me to reboot. That's all.

I've recovered from being stood up. He IMed me today and said he fell asleep and his phone died. What he just got was fucked. Cause those two excuses were LAME. If you didn't want to meet up, cool, just let me know. But, he took the cowardly way out and was lame. His loss. I looked and smelled good last night. HA

I responded to my ex in an email this past tuesday. Remember, I fell in love with him over Olympic Curling. :-) I haven't heard anything back. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I'm on myspace, and it seems as if everyone from high school and college are on there too. A bit random but very cool to reconnect with some of these people.

I begin traveling in just a couple of weeks. I'll be gone almost half the month of march. My first stop: Norman, Oklahoma. Some might cringe about having to travel to OK for business, but I am so fricken excited. It's my state. That's where I was born and that's where I spent the first 10 years of my life. I still have friends there and I have friends that I consider family there. So, I am extending my trip so that I can play with my friends and family. And I CAN'T WAIT for Braums. I will get off the plane and go directly to a Braums. No shit. I will! After Norman, I come home for a week and a half and then travel to Knoxville. I've never been there so, I am excited to have the opportunity to work there. Hopefully, I will meet some nice students to hang with. Oh and the best part of my travels in March. Well, it has to be the 31st. It's when I leave for a much needed old school girls trip. Can't wait to celebrate and drink and dance with the girls for Sniff's bacherlorette party.

Gosh, this is a boring post, but I'm not quite ready to go bed.

I'm so geeked! I got a new cell phone. I took a giant leap and ordered a Sidekick 2. It's on its way and I should have it by tuesday. I'll let you know if I like it or not.

Okay, well the yawns have taken over and I think I am going to snuggle with my stuffed animals in my warm bed.

Hope ya'll have a good weekend.

Nire

I smell good and look hot too...

2006-02-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

Had a good day at work today. Was so busy, I hardly had time to breathe. It was great. I rushed home after going to the tanning bed, I wanted to look alive. We planned to see each other tonight. The plans were loose, but I had thought about them all day. We talked for 2 hours last night. It was so great. I worked out for an hour, this time to feel alive, and rushed to the shower. I even shaved. I buffed myself too. I put on my teeth whiteners. I put on my makeup. The kind that make my eyes come alive. Damn, I look good. I smell good too. He's gonna love this. He's gonna wanna push me against the wall and take full advantage of me. I straightned my hair with my new straightner that I love so much. My hair is shiny and beautiful. I look and feel good. I can't wait. But, that's what I'm doing. I'm waiting because he said he'd be home by 7:30 and well, it's now almost 9. And I'm waiting. All sexy and ready. So, here's what I think about waiting.

FYI

2006-02-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

Just so that you all know. I am NOT going back to the FUTURE with *him*. I am just moving my posts from my MYSPACE blog to this blog. I didn't want to delete my writting as I thought it was important to keep as a reminder as to why I broke up with him.

It's all good kids.

Asshat from yesteryear.

2006-02-13T00:49:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 29, 2005

My Bet with Asshat

Well well well,
It looks as if someone loves me and wants to make an appearance. He's coming to town. Since I'm a betting woman, I'd say he might not even show. He knows I think this and that's why I made him send me his itinerary. Now all I need is to actually see him in person. Our bet: If he doesn't show, he owes me the diamond ring I've always wanted. If he shows, he gets what he wants. UGH...Guess we'll see who wins the bet.

Old Message again... I am moving my shit from MYSPACE to here

2006-02-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

Um Hello? Are you dead?

UPDATE~ Well, he's not dead... but he's gonna wish he were dead. WTF? 'I don't know your cell phone number'. THAT'S a load of shit. I'm not dumb Ed... START TELLING THE TRUTH! And you sounded like such a liar this morning on the phone. You've been caught. 'I didn't know I had to call you everyday.' Right, cause if I don't call you everyday, you freak out. I'm used to the 7 phone calls a day from you. And when you don't call at all, for 2 days, it speaks volumes. Fess up, Ed, what did you REALLY do? I can handle it. No wonder you cancelled your trip up here. Please be understanding my ass.
Um, Ed, are you alive? Whatever."

Another Oldie

2006-02-13T00:44:00.000-07:00

Friday, October 21, 2005

I'm here... not dead, but feel like I could die.
Like last year after the annual meeting, I feel like I've been hit by a mac truck. That's right. I'm tired. Fed up with people too. And could really use a good few days without having to help someone find a room, smile for hours on end or pretend that I love it when EJB gets drunk and snores LOUDLY in my ear when sleeping next to me. Baby, I miss you, but when you get drunk, you act like an ass and snore like one too.

The meeting went well overall. More responsibility this year, which was nice. Had a great boss, and didn't have to save her from falling on the ground because she was so drunk (like my old boss). Worked my ass off and really feel like it went well. Got to see EJB a bit. Not as much as I'd like but yah know, when the only option is seeing him when you are dead tired and all you want to do is sleep and then arranging to see them at 1 am is the best it can get, well then that is what I'd take. It was a bit weird and awkward at times. Tired to act like I didn't like him much at times (sometimes, I didn't have to act) because there is a definite conflict of interest here. My work and his work probably would NOT like it too much if they knew that we were seeing each other. So... we attempted to play it cool. I think.

So, I plan on hangin in my pjs, drinking a lot of water, catching up on sleep, and taking a few baths to help my body recover from this meeting. I have no idea how EJB does this week after week. I'd be miserable.

I am off to head to bed.

Mama needs sleepy. PS... I miss Sniff!

Congrats to Mouse and her hubby... they are moving to New Mexico soon so that Jay can start his new job. It's not Denver, but it's closer and I know they are happy"

A blog a wrote a long while ago... wanted to repost on this site.

2006-02-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Nothin like Hockey and Puppies!

So, I went to BOTH Avalanche games this past week. I can't even begin to tell you how hockey is therapy for me. Bad days, good days, hockey always makes a day better. The release of tension, stress, happiness at the games is pure bliss. Plus, going shopping yesterday with Michelle was awesome. 4 pairs of shoes and a hockey game. Almost better than sex. HA. I've got good friends. I've got love. And that's all I need. Good friends and love. Lucky me.

Also, I woke up yesterday (after a night of half way sleeping like a rock and then restless sleep) and looked out the window to find 8 puppies outside romping around! Again, nothing like puppies to make any day better. They just make me smile. I played with them today for an hour and a half. I just needed that today. They are some kind of husky/alaskan malimute/cuteness mix. Some have blue eyes. And some have one blue, one brown eye. Of couse the one I love the most is the runt with one blue eye and one brown eye. Damn, who needs men when you can have unconditional love from an animal. I need a puppy.

Here comes the week. Hope it's more productive. I've got 2 hockey games this week. One Eagle game and one Avs game. Meeting up with a friend that I've lost touch with. Looking forward to that.

I think I might need to have a few cocktails this week. I haven't really had anything to drink in months. It's time. Time to celebrate really! Hockey's back and I'm a happy girl.
:-)

How People Remember Me

2006-02-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

I just got an email from an old college friend. We haven't seen each other in years.

Here's what his email said to me regarding my picture on myspace:

"I also have to say that you have a very provocative picture...but I seem to remember that you were always a pretty provocative girl. "

Really? Is that how people remember me? Wow, I always thought I'd be remembered for how funny I was, or how happy I was or how kind I was to others. Yikes, I guess not.

What the Olympics mean to me

2006-02-09T17:43:00.000-07:00

I love the Olympics. A lot. I love every sport, every team, the competition, the thrill, the scenery, the time that the world comes together to celebrate their countries. I love it.

I also love it because it reminds me of someone very special. My very first love. When we met almost 6 years ago, we had only a few things in common. Hockey being one of our most favorite things in common and then there was our passion for the Olympics. We would watch every sport, stay up until 4 in the morning ennamored by Curling and we would love every minute of it. It really brought us closer together. I fell in love with him to the core while we snuggled on the couch, watching the Olympics.

I haven't heard from him in months and have been thinking a lot about him lately, expecially with everyone getting engaged, having babies, and getting on with their lives. I told him I was thinking of him and that I hoped he was able to watch some of the Olympics in Morocco. Here was his response to me.

I cannot wait for the Olympics!!! I have been talking it up lately in my site, but no one is interested (no soccer). I plan on watching as much as possible, but I will not get the all night love fests that we once shared:) Too bad I don't have a TV in my house, then I could stay up watching curling all night long again!

I miss him. A lot more that I let anyone know.

38 days and counting

2006-02-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

So, I'm not one for New Years Resolutions. But for some reason, this year, I decided I needed to make a few changes.

As you have all been reading on this silly little blog, my love life sucks. I'm one to drown in my tears for a few days, suck it up, put on my big girl panties and get back on the horse. I get on with life, a little more bitter, but I'm keepin on keepin on.

So, for New Years I decided to be better. Treat myself better. Tell myself that I am important. I've decided to not put out unless I'm with someone, in a relationship.

So, how have I done? I've done exceptionally well. I'm the girl that never finishes projects, I sometimes do things half assed, I never follow through on my New Years resolutions. But, wow, I've not put out in 38 days. And holy bejebus, it's horribly boring not getting ass. It's not like I haven't had any proposals, cause I've had a few. I've even given my phone number out to some schmuck in a bar. He called, a lot, but ick. He was a complete asshat.

I could have, but didn't. I took my first boyfriend, my first puppy love to the Avs game this weekend. He's married. He said his wife didn't care. Ok, whatever, we both love hockey, why not hang out with another person who likes hockey. Well, our chemistry is undeniable. Our attraction for each other is obvious to anyone who is in our presence. We met for drinks before the game, caught up on what was new, we drank throughout the game and then went out for drinks afterwards. It was amazing the attention he gave me. I sat there and soaked it up. I didn't care that he was married. We weren't doing anything wrong. I let him reminisce about out past. I let him look at me, knowing exactly what he wanted. I didn't bite. I let him squirm. It was fucking faboo. We got a wild hair and he wanted to go hang out with some of his old friends, some of our old friends from 10 years ago. But, they bailed. So we decided on another bar. Of course we did. He didn't want it to end. After just one drink, a frantic text came from his wife. "James, come home now. I need you here." She broke. She wasn't okay with us hanging out. I wouldn't be either. I would have let my husband out with a girl he had had a past with. Fuck no.

I promptly took him home to his wife, where he belongs. I got the thrill of knowing that, I still got it. Or at least, I got something. I didn't kiss him. I didn't hug him. All I did was smile and laugh. I was a good girl. And at times I wanted to be bad, but in the back of my head, I kept thinking, been there done that and I'm better than this. But for the time being, I soaked up the flirting sun. :-)

Hung over

2006-02-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

So, the 'Pede was good. Very good. I'm tired... and hung over. And well, I've got a mistery bruise on my forearm. Hmm.

I gave out my phone number... to an actual guy. He called to say hi today. He was cute. But a complete man whore... I think. Talked to ALL the girls in the bar last night. I wonder how many girls he called to just say hi to today? Maybe I will go out with him. LOL.

Going home to nap on the couch, watch the Avs game, catch up on my Tivo and then nap some more.

Oh yah, and if someone wants to donate or hire me a man servant to do my laundry and clean my house, oh yah and cook me food, that would be great. mmmm kay.

I wanna feel like Hejduk

2006-01-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

Someone please get me out of this slump. Hejduk did it tonight. And from the 13th row above the benches, my birthday turned into one of the best.

A few weeks ago, my mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I replied with: I want my uncle to come down and go to the Avalanche game with me.

Wish granted. Uncle G came all the way down from Eagle and took me to a game. We upgraded our seats and watched in style. It was perfect.

However, on my way home, all I could do was cry. I'm so lonely. I hate it so much. I have no one to come home to. No one to love. There's no plan for me. I have no plan. I'm a planner and I have no plan. How sad is that.

And on that note, I'm going to bed. I either wanna wake up like Hejduk and get out of my slump or sleep forever where I don't have to face being lonely. I mean for fucks sake, it's been 3 years. I've been punished enough, right.

Thanks to everyone who sent me Birthday wishes. It meant a lot to me today.

ParTAY

2006-01-31T14:32:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday! Yee-Frickin-Haw.

Vegas Recap: Friday Night into Saturday Morning

2006-01-25T22:49:00.000-07:00

So, I've survived the Vegas trip!

Here's the recap:

Friday: Michelle, Nicki and I met at Michelle's house to carpool to the airport. We got settled into DIA and decided to have some cocktails before the flight (duh). It was at the bar that we decided to create a list of things that we needed to do on this trip. Some of the items on the list included:

Have a drink bought for us
Find a little person and make them do the chest pump (seriously, what is the infatuation with little people?)
Pretend to be a Miss America Pagent Contestant (the pagent was in Vegas this weekend)
Get a tatoo
Give a broncos fan a kiss (he must be a stranger)
Get Married (and have it annuled)

There were more on the list but I am too tired and can't remember.

So right off the bat, on the plane, we made friends, therefore, drinks were bought! Apparently we kept a handsome man from sleeping with all of our laughter and excitment. We waited for our bags and up come the handsome man and his less handsomer friend. A new pick up line I've never heard before: So, ladies, have you seen Brokeback Mountain? Cause I play the part of Jake and he plays the part of Innis. Hmmm... strange pick up line? But we laughed sort of. They chitchatted with us a bit and told us we kept them up on the plane with all the laughter. Oh well, put on your big girl panties, tie your hair bow and compete with the big girls! They offered us a limo ride to the MGM as we were staying at the same hotel. We spent $10 bucks and had some nice eye candy to look at. It was a win win situation, we thought. They got out of the limo paid their $10 bucks each and bolted. No tip left or anything. Damn bastards. On to bigger and better things!!!

We settled in, showered, got our game faces on and went downstairs to mingle with the hotties. We almost immediately met 2 guys who just happened to be from Fort Collins!!!! The first one, a large, yummy black man by the name of Earl shot the shit with us. He dared us to go up to his friend and grab his ass. I declined as my liquid courage had not managed to give me enough to do that to a cute little stranger. But, like any good sport, Nicki sacked up and made it happen. His face was priceless and Nicki got $10 for doing it. We continued our conversation with the cutie Earl and I quickly learned the Earl knew where I lived. I thought for sure he was a stalker. He then dared me to ask his cute lil hottie friend if he knew a particular street in E town, the street that I live on. Oh he did, and I about flipped my lid. Apparently they worked on the houses here in E town. Apparently they do concrete. Hmm... whatever, weird... freaked me out a bit. We hung out a bit more, drank a bit more, and why can't I remember what the next thing we did? Hmm... oh yah! We went downstairs and got ourselves a MASSIVE Fat Tuesday slurpie drink. I'm a lightweight and could make a dent but Nicki is a powerhouse and can drink anyone under the table. We hung out with the boys for the rest of the night. We played, truth or dare, tell me something unique about yourself and had an excellent time. I could tell the young hot piece was diggin on me a bit. His name is Jacob. And he is HOT! And by young, I mean I could have probably babysat him. He's 22. I am going to be 26 in a few days. How can I be attracted to such a youngin. I was, I am... who knows if he will call. He said he would. But, OMG... There was no kissing, only hugging, and dancing.

After the truth or dare, it was time to eat! I mean it was 5 a.m. and the best place to go at 5 a.m. in Vegas is FATBURGER! We had a blast! I love that place and am still trying to work that damn burger, fries and milkshake off. Thank Bejebus for my new treadmill (thanks Sniff for the idea!)

Time for bed. The Saturday day and Saturday evening story will commence tomorrow.

And for your viewing pleasure: please enjoy my young hottie, Jacob!

2006-01-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

Mama Suki and Baby Calem

2006-01-25T22:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Baby O'Donnell!

2006-01-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

We fell in love at this moment!

2006-01-25T22:31:00.000-07:00

I love him!

2006-01-25T22:30:00.001-07:00

Sisters, Sorority Sisters, and Baby!

2006-01-25T22:30:00.000-07:00

Here are more lovely pics of baby Irish, mama S and her fiance Mac. I heart this new family!

2006-01-25T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm in love... Meet my boyfriend... Calem O'Donnell. I'm wearing my shamrock shirt for him. I wanted him to fall in love with me. I think it was love at first sight. We snuggled for almost an hour. His momma had to steal him back, because I didn't want to let go. We are in love, there is no doubt about that.

VEGAS! cough snarf ick HERE WE COME!!

2006-01-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

Well this blogger is making her way to Vegas tomorrow evening with 2 of my most favorite January birthday girls! And of couse, I've got a sinus infection. I went to the doc today and she gave me some meds. Lets hope they work well. I was going to work tomorrow, but I don't think I can do it. I need rest. That's all I've done tonight too. I missed the entire Avs game because I put my damn head on the pillow. Next thing I knew there was 4 minutes left in the game. We lost. The first loss this year... BOO! But, keep up the good work guys.

I think I was supposed to call Nicki back tonight, but I can't really remember our converstaion as I was in a sleep coma. Hopefully she will forgive me. :0)

I plan on sleeping in tomorrow and then packing. I'm so damn tired! Ass hats!

Why is it SOOOO hard to find a cute womans Bronco shirt? I'm sorry, but those Jake the Snake shirts are awful. I know they are for charity, but damn they are ugly. And I don't want to wear a jersey. I just want a cute little logo on a cute little shirt, not some Jake the Snake tent. Oh well... I guess I will wear my Target Broncos sweatshirt to the bar in Vegas.

I am off to bed as I am still pooped. I got a phone call at 1 am this morning from an old friend. She was delivering the news that our Suki has become a Mommy. I plan on seeing the new baby and new mommy this weekend as that clan lives in Vegas! I can't wait. I wonder if baby has thick black hair like Suki or if he's Irish looking like his daddy. Maybe he's a dark haired Irish furmonger. I'll post pics when I get back!

It's almost 2 A.M. and I'm still up

2006-01-16T01:39:00.000-07:00

I'm up because I pretty much slept all day.

Ick, I'm either hung over, or sick. I can't tell either way.

Friday: Mammoth game with Nicki and Sara B. Loads O Fun!

Saturday: Went to Nicki's to watch the Avalanche win the 6th or 7th straight. They played against Peter Forsberg's new team. It was so weird to see him in another sweater.

Saturday Evening: Went to Scotty P's for a rockin Bronco's Party. HOLY CRAP WE WON!!! Drank a lot. Saw a bunch of old high school buddies and all of their wives. HA. Oh yah, and MOUSE, you ARE SOOOOOOO BUSTED! I'm seriously a little hurt! BUSTED!

Sunday: EARLY MORNING: Drove Nicki home and then drove my ass to my mom's. Went to bed at 2:30 and by 4am I was barfing. I thought for sure that if I did it once, all would be fine. Oh no, it wasn't I was drunk and barfing barf, this was, I had something nasty to eat barf and crap fest. OH YAH, I know that this is a lot of information but this would be the reason why I am still up. I continuted to barf/crap for 4 hours. My body hurts and I really should consider showering. I hung at Mom's house all day and watching the STEELERS whoooooopppppp up on the Colts. Home field advantage next week is gonna be awesome. Can't wait to watch that game!

This week should be low key. Friday is a big day... VEGAS HERE WE COME!!!!

I will post later this week. Hopefully I will feel better. Damn Red Bull Vodkas and meatballs. It was not a pretty site this morning. UGH!!!

GO AVS, GO MAMMS, GO DONKIES!

Hot Apple Pie

2006-01-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

I heart this dress

At Home, In Bed...

2006-01-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

I don't feel so hot? But would you after the night I had last night?

Sister, my ass.

Wow, I am THAT girl...

2006-01-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

I am that girl that you think of as a sister. You want the best for me. You think I'm nice, you want to cuddle with me, maybe kiss me, hell, you want to fuck me. But you don't want to date me. You just want to be near me, near my niceness, near my caring heart, near my "somebody love me" attitude. And once you love me just a little bit, just once, I'm yours. Cause I LOVE being LOVED. And you know that if you show a little bit of love, I will do anything for you. I will even listen to you talk about your dating life and how sad it is. And I will be thinking, as you are telling me this, that we should be in love. That you should just love me for real.

The one that I want to love me told me tonight: (my comments are in red)

ME: yah... well, you aren't leading me on... i have a good idea as to what you want. And what I was saying is that... I am just trying to be good around you and not push you up against the wall and tear your clothes off everytime I see you...

HIM: so what do I want if you have a good idea

ME: well, i think in the end you want a nice girl... but for the time being, (while you are figuring out what you want), i'm the one you call on occassion to see/hang out with/ cuddle with/ kiss/ make out with/ sleep with.

HIM: so your not a nice girl? i'm a fucking nice girl, damn it... why can't you see that!

ME: I am a nice girl... I

HIM: ???

ME: I'm the type of girl that people should be with in the end... but for the time being, I'm the option... I'm the in limbo girl... take her or leave her girl... the whatever girl

HIM: E, I like hanging out with you I think you know that, I would more but I kind feel like its a sexual thing. I can't resist wanting to jump your bones and thats not the message I want to send to you. U are a great woman I just don't see u and I together long term. You desrve the best and maybe I should not hang out with you because of all that. duh, i knew that is the way you felt about me... you call me when you want to "see" me... yah, see me naked. UGH
HIM: does that make sense at all?

ME: it does

HIM: This may sound weird but you kinda are like a sister to me OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME... right now, I want to die. I want to crawl under my covers and NEVER come out again. I don't want to see him ever again. Nope.

ME: lol
ME: omg
ME: well

HIM: lol

ME: that's really great to know. That's great to know you like to fuck your sister.

HIM: not in a bad way but in the way where I want whats best for you and like to be with you cause you are fun and caring etc

ME: yep, i'm that girl

HIM: you are the girl that guys should end up with you are very special and one day some retard like me may see that One day, one day? FUCK YOU. One day you will see that I could have been good for you. One day. ANd that day will be too late. I can't even believe this.

ME: lol ha ha...

HIM: its true

ME: well, that's nice to know..

HIM: u never know
HIM: I just don't want you to feel like u mean nothing to me. I am your booty call. I am the girl you call when you need to feel loved. Yep, I'm that girl.
HIM: I actually feel bad about sleeping with you last time. Are you kidding me? Great, you have a soul.

ME: nice

HIM: what?
HIM: I just don't wanty you to feel like thats what you are

ME: LOL..

HIM: ur totally not

ME: ok

HIM: should have planned on going home no, i got a piece. glad you stayed. it helped me fulfil the need i have for an actual penis.

ME: well, the weather was bad... and i think i kissed you first
ME: so...
ME: well, it was nice... i was glad you were there...

HIM: but I must say you are some kind of hard to resist Fuck yah, I am hard to resist. You will miss this. You will miss my heart. You will, I promise you will.

ME: lol
ME: yah, we have some chemistry
ME: damn it

HIM: lol

ME: oh well

HIM: oh well?

ME: i had hoped something would have happened between us. (obviously) so, I say oh well because, oh well, there is really nothing I can do... ya know? You feel what you feel... and I feel what I feel.

HIM: hey my mom is calling i have to run I may be back later miss ya and by mom, do you mean sister? Cause i think she's calling for a booty call.

ME: bye

HIM: well i am sorry i just have to be honest with myself and u

ME: i'm glad you have been
ME: thanks for that

HIM: talk to you a bit latrer or tomorrow

ME: k

HIM: hey thanks for being a friend and listening to my sob stories too

ME: you're welcome...
ME: anytime you wanna chat...
ME: I'm that girl
ME: as you know and you do know

And so goes my dating life.
Here it is, in all it's glory. I know it will be my turn one day... blah blah blah
But for now, I'm stuck (again) with my heart out there on my sleeve, right after a good fuck, being called a sister.

Nice.

2006-01-09T00:22:00.000-07:00

Before Haircut

2006-01-09T00:21:00.000-07:00

After Haircut

2006-01-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

Another One Bites The Dust (unofficially)