Engagement? What Engagement?

Our little Poof and her hunk of a man, Babe decided that it was time to get engaged! I can't even wait for the wedding Poodles! Congrats!


Here's the ring (on my finger):


And here's the HOT couple:

I'd like to annouce the birth of Lil Mouse aka Baby Beva!

Mouse brought a lil baby Mouse into the world today! Happy Birthday Lil Mouse! You are so beautiful and I love you soooo much. You've got lots of Aunts and some that you didn't even ask for! We've been waiting for you for so long. You came into the world just a lil mouse, but soon you will grow and I can't wait to watch!

I love you little girl! Welcome to the H-Train!

Love, Auntie Erin

On the count of 3, everyone say Jenny's pregnant!

Priceless, the look on Mary's face!

A sign I've let someone in...

Mouse and her babes and the BLIZZARD of 2006!!

Gobble Gobble

I can't believe it's almost Turkey Day. This holiday has snuck up on me. I mean, I just got back from my birthday trip to Vegas! HOLY CRAP!

My Thanksgiving consists of heading up to the mountains to spend it with my Uncle, his fiance and her girls and of course mom and Don. This should be fun. I'd honestly like to just stay home, watch Grey's Anatomy and the Broncos game.

I haven't written here much since before I left for Philly. Part of me has needed a break and part of me has been too busy to even put the time or effort into doing this. I'll never stop writing because I love doing it, but from time to time, I'll take a break.

So, I guess another reason why I've been so distant is because I've made a decision to begin seeing someone from my past. I'll refer to him as Asshat, well, because that's what I've always called him. I've let him back into my life and I've not told very many people about that decision. I know that I will get looks, people will ignore me when his name is brought up. I understand that. I would do the same if I were my friend. I've made things very clear to him that "this thing" we've started will go slow, will be under my terms and will end if ANY BS goes down. So, I've let him try to win me over. I've let him take me to NICE resturants. I even let him in, but only a little bit. He's trying really hard. But, more than anything, he's got to win over my friends and family. As for right now, I'm happy. I'm cautious, but happy.

This morning I walked into my office and saw these beautiful flowers on my desk. So purty! They were from him. When I came back from a meeting, ANOTHER boquet of flowers had been sent to me! HOLY SHIT! When I came back from lunch, a little blue box sat on my desk. How did he know. That little blue box made my heart stop. I couldn't even believe it! He had bought me a Tiffany's bracelet. It's georgous. He's trying. And I know the material things aren't the way to make someone forgive, but damn, my little heart forgot for one moment those old memories. He's trying. And I'm going to let him. I haven't cloesed the door on other "things" that might come along, OH AND THERE ARE SOME "THINGS" THAT MIGHT BE COMING. So know that I am being cautious. But, I'm enjoying this time right now. I really am.

My New Toy

Congrats are in order... and I'm behind!

So the biggest news, of course, is that Mouse and the Doctor are expecting a little one! And I'm convinced that the baby will be born on my birthday. :-) Oh yah and they have moved back to Denver. So, my little plan is working! First Sniff now Mouse. I'm totally overjoyed and can't wait to meet Baby Beva Brown. So damn cute!!!












Also, DZ sister and friend Shandigity and Bill have announced that they are expecting their first little one. Congrats to the both of you! The baby will no doubt be as cute as the both of you!

DZ sister Banana and her family (Trevor and Reagan) have announced that they are on baby number 2! Congrats to you! Maybe a little boy will be in your future.

And a huge congrats are in order for my dear friend and sister Sunshine. She just completed her radiation treatment! Nothing can stop her and I know that she can't wait to get back to her little girl and hubby. I love you Sunshine! Congrats to you and seriously, Maddie Grace is adorable!

I'm back

I'm not, however, better than ever. I'm exhausted. But, I'm refreshed.

Recap: Philly: Fucking fantastic. Loved it!
NYC: It was what I thought it would be. Crazy cool.

Feet: Sore, I walked up to 12 miles each day.
My shifts: 5:45 a.m. - 10 p.m. every day. I'm tired!

Flirted with: approximately 4 guys: Aaron, we're in love and I'm pretty sure it's a perfect match. Roy, the sexy southern who had the most amazing crooked smile. Eric Erie, seriously could you even imagine my last name being Erin Erie, from Erie. Loved him. Oh yah and Guido in Brooklyn. What a perfect Brooklyn boy story. "Yous two are beeYOUteeful. Loved it.

Best Moment: Flyers hockey game: hands down. 9th row, Peter Forsberg, tied the game, won the game and was the star of the game. It couldn't have been any better.

Worst moment: Being the only white people coming off the Utica subway exit in the middle of the ghetto. SCARY!!!

Sure glad to be home. Now, it's time to get better. I need a real life!

E

so... I've scared a few people

I don't have a lot of time for a long post... so I'll keep this short.

I'm fine, please don't worry. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm too chicken to do it and plus, how much fun would it be for me not to live my life vicariously though other people. Not very much fun now would it?!

I figured something was up when I received 4 emails from my 2 best friends. I didn't think they even read this thing anymore.

I'm over myself. So, please let me just be that.

I'm lonely. The end. That's it. And it's partially my fault for moving way the fuck up to Erie. I knew that it would be hard for people to visit me there.

I don't expect you to understand that how lonely this feels. I don't expect anyone I know to understand that.

For now, I'll be excited about the "other" things. You two moving back up here and Baby Beva on the way. I can hardly contain myself over that baby. I can't wait to meet her and be her Auntie E.

I'll go on this trip to Philly and hope that it revitalizes me. Brings me back to what everyone thinks I am... happy.

I'm sorry to make you feel concerned. I'll get thru this crap. I just need some attention... I think that's really what it is. It seems as with all the weddings and showers, the single girl gets left in the dust. There was a Sex in the City episode about that ya know!?!! :-) There's nothing great about being single, girls. Nothing. They just call it "independence" to take the gloom away. I've been independent all my life. I'm over that. I'd really like to depend on someone other than myself.

I'd rather die than be this lonely. I really would. So, that's why I have friends. And friends that have babies. Cause there is nothing better than a baby. I just feel left out. There's no celebrations for single people. I mean, I'm in the business of celebrations. And we don't celebrate a single girl, just getting by. That just doesn't happen.

I'll not likely keep up with the Jones'. I'll be behind for the rest of my life. I've just got to get to the place that I can accept that.

Enjoy the two weeks I'm gone. The drama will have left the building. I'll put on my customer service face and show my best. I'll come home and crash and hopefully want to re-enter the world with a smile, hopefully a joke and much less drama.

Please don't worry about me, cause everything is always fine. I'm fine.

Love,

E

Me=Bitch

it's been a while... and there is a great reason for that. I'm in a horrible, terrible mood, and I've been busy. Not good busy, but work busy.

Looking forward to October 26.

I need a break, a raise and a boyfriend. And I don't mean some dumb guy who calls and wants to "hang out". I want an actual boyfriend who actually cares. Everywhere I look, all I see are engagements, marriages and then more engagements and marriages. Even my uncle is engaged. Barf.

See, there is the reason I should have stayed home tonight. I'm a complete and total bitch.

I've never in my life considered suicide. But, as much as this Suzy Fucking Sunshine hates to admit it, I've thought about it more and more in the past 3 months, than I have ever in my entire life. I don't want my life to be about getting ahead at work. I'd really like it to be about family. But since my family is small and now have other families, I'm kind of left here by myself. And seriously, I'm by myself. I am. And that dumb fucking movie my mom thinks is about me (under the tuscan sun) totally sucks. It's a great movie in all, but seriously, I don't think I was put on this earth to help my lesbian best friend raise her baby. I don't think I was put on this plant to NOT have my own relationship. To not have my own child. Or to even think that my house is like a child in which I need to nurture and raise. BLAH BLAH BLAH. Fuck off.

I'm sick of living my life vicariously through others. I'm sick of hearing, "it will happen to you, just be patient". Well, it's been over 3 years and I've been about as patient as they come. I'm over being the only one NOT getting married, engaged, blah blah blah. I'm not even close to that. I'm not even close to knowing someone I'd even consider marrying. Yikes. That's just scary. I'm just so cynical. And now, I'm even telling people, I'm okay with not dating. That's just a lie. I'm not okay with that. I'm not okay with being alone. I never will be. And I hate that others feel sorry for me. I can tell they feel sorry for me. I just want to be one of them. Fit in with the crowd.

So for now, as my depression goes up and down, I will retreat and not come out for a few months. I'll be a horrible friend or pretend to be a good one. I'll fake my way thru life as best as I know how. I'll put on a brave face and smile so that others don't feel uncomfortable around me. Cause that's what I do. And that's probably what, in the end, is the sole reason why I am alone.

I'm stuck, forgive me.

e

I'll be gone for 2 weeks. I won't write, cause I will be busy. So busy, in fact, that I'll forget, for at least 2 weeks, that I'm a complete bitch. So enjoy me being gone cause when I get back. I'll be bitching again... After all, this is the bitch factory.